Honestly, not one of my days goes like I had dreamed. Life in general has definitely been different.
Thought that at 41, I'd be living in mid-town Tulsa - I love the old homes! My husband would be an executive in a gas company with offices in one of the beautiful buildings that dominates the downtown Tulsa skyline. Our four kids would go to public school. Our sons play football, our daughers dance and cheer. And everyone play musical instruments. I would be the PTA mom; the Football Boosters and Band Boosters Mom. We would be at every football game and band concert and attend all of our alumni football games too. We would attend a large church. Be involved. Serve as a family.
I married a man who moved me to the country.
My midtown home never materialized. Our first two homes were in the quintessential suburbs of Tulsa. House number 3 took me out of Tulsa County. House number 4 - well, instructions included, "go over the one-lane bridge to the dirt road. We are the third dirt driveway on the right. Just past the gas well and overlooking the cow pasture." My current home is in the mountains of Colorado! A far cry from downtown anywhere! And I'd love to be further up the mountain. In the tall pines. To sit on my porch and lisen to the wind whistle through their needles. Drink my coffee (another thing I picked up in Colorado). Read. Sit. Have friends over. My love of cabins with peaked roofs and tall windows is a far cry from the mid-town craftsmen homes of which I once dreamed.
My four kids turned into two that we fought for! We prayed for! We fasted and begged God for! Fertility drugs. Surgeries. False-positive tests. And then - colic. Health problems. Sleepless....years. And I wouldn't trade them! They are energetic, smart, vibrant. They love each other - secretly. They love other kids - openly. They are open to where God leads them. Beautiful!
My son wouldn't play football to save his life. But we are the ultimate soccer family! You will find us at every game, tournmanet, spaghetti dinner and club meeting. David has coached and I have had to learn a new sport. Soccer is not as social as football - this game you have to watch! So I took up sports photography and then I stay more focused.
And public school!?! We left that two years ago. As I write this, my kids are working on lessons on the computer. Yes, the computer is their teacher. I am truly the facilitator. Someone has to be in charge. I'm it! The teacher and superintendent of Vista Academy. David is the principal and school board. There's no PTA meetings. Of which I am thankful! I learned after 5 years in public school how much I hated them!
The music is there - and we did the public school band thing too. It was fun. Now, we listen to drums and guitars at home. Chris plays. Ashley loves to sing. She is also the artist. Always drawing or painting. Creating. I love their creativity.
Church is been different too. We've attended different denominations and churches as small as 40 and as large as 1000+. We've served. We've sat on the pew. We've hid in the crowd and been very visible. Different seasons of life allow for different levels of participation.
But we've always served as a family. Served God. Loved God. Prayed together.
So, this is our life. Not how I dreamed - but so much better!
Are you living a different life than what you dreamed? Maybe you're mad at God because, well, His plan just didn't live up to what you wanted. Stop. Look around you. Take inventory of your blessings.
Maybe your discontentment is because you are so wrapped up in your own life you are not giving others. Self-centeredness leads to depression and discontenment. Get over yourself. Get out of yourself!
When I write about This Life, I leave out alot. That's editting. Bad things. But in the grand scheme; in light of eternity, the bad things are so insignificant. They make us - hopefully - stronger. Better people. More compassionate.
This Life is covered by God's Grace and Mercy. New every morning. Never failing.
Rejoice! This Life is blessed by God!