Monday, April 26, 2010

Mean Momma

Okay, I am not up for any Mother of the Year award this year.  In fact, a Mean Momma award would probably garnish me nominations from my family.

I've been testy and edgy;  short tempered, shorter fused;  high strung and have left a trail of blood behind me.  Maybe that's an exaggeration - a little.

Part of it is allergies.  They are horrible this year!  And the meds that don't really seem to help leave me groggy and fussy.

Part of it is spring fever and adjusting to being together 24/7.  I love teaching my kids but I've not had a break in a while.  Yesterday, I went to my room and shut the door - for 4 hours!  I read some and took a nap.

Partly, I miss my friends from work greatly.  I  miss that daily interaction and our wordsmith session.  I miss the coffee and lunch.  And yes, I occassionally  miss the paycheck!

And a big part this past week is looking at another surgery for Ashley.  The screws should come out on Friday.  But, are they doing to do anything else?  Seems like they always find something else they can tweak, change, inject, stretch, lengthen, fuse or just plain play with.   Fourteen hours of driving - half of which you hope she doesn't have a seizure or throw up.

Frankly, I think I've been a pill because I don't want to be the adult this week.  I want to be the kid!  I want someone else to take care of this.  I miss my dad.  I want to curl up in his lap like I'm still 5 and the whole world is quiet and peaceful.

So, I go to my Father.  I curl up in his lap.  Father God, make this all go away!  No, he answers, but I will go through it with you.

Yup, here come the tears.

"Bring all your needs to the altar,
Bring all your needs to the Lord;
He is so willing and able to help you,
Bring all your needs to the Lord."

Here they are God.  My needs are not neat.  My problems aren't tied in a nice bundle.  They are not pretty, but I can't keep them any longer.  Here they are.   You are willing.  You are able.  I'm not.

Phillippians 4:7 reads:

"Then God's peace, which goes beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your thoughts and emotions through Christ Jesus."   God's Word Translation

or another translation:

"And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."  King James

In our time of trial, God's peace will keep our thoughts and emotions calm! 

I will rest in Him!  In this time of unrest - so many friends are hurting and facing trials - I will take their name before the Father. 

There's plenty of room in His lap for all of us!

P.S. - Yes, I have apologized to my family.  They voted that mom needs more sleep and less Benadryl!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Here we go again!

Next week, Denver's Children's Hospital will be blessed with the presence of two great gals from Durango, CO!   On April 30th, Ashley will be having the screws removed from the growth plate of her right knee and our friends daughter will be having surgery as well - the same day!  Okay, we are actually neighbors and I would much rather hang with them at our house or theirs, but we're going to Denver.  And no, it wasn't planned.

You can read about our friends and their daughter at:

Please keep these gals in your prayers.  And their families!

Ashley doesn't always come out of anesthesia well.  Actually never.  She screams and cries for Chris, pushes people away and sometimes they must give her lots of meds for pain control.  Then, we get to travel home with her.

On Thursday, she is attending two clinics - neurology and orthopaedic. They evaluate her progress and she how they might be able to help her further.  We have some friends living in Denver now (boo-hoo!) and we will be staying with them.  And, going to the American Girl store!  Oh, yeah.  And Kohl's.  And maybe a real mall!  And eating out!  Just hanging with friends will be great.

When we get home, Ashley wants her screws welded into the shape of a cross for a necklace.

A cross.  At the cross.  That's where we live.  Beneath the shadow of the cross, covered in love and forgiveness.  Showered with grace and fed on mercy from the Father.

Hmmm.  What a nice place.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Caution: God at Work

As pastor ended his sermon series this week on The Keys to the Kingdom, one statement has shouted at me.  It has yelled at me the past two days.  I wake up thinking about this.

God is always working on my behalf!

Wow!  For me? Yes, me.

This past fall, I was plagued with computer problems and for 2 months I had to beg computer time from my kids.  Each day, Chris would say to his dad, "get her a new computer!"  No one wanted to share with mommy.

What they learned later was humbling for them - the time I spent on their computer was researching our vacation plans that we suprised them with on Christmas Morning.

I think the meal they had that day was crow.

How many times do we complain to God?  It's too hot, it's too cold.  I don't like my car.  My kids won't behave.  I hate my job.

Then days, months maybe even years down the road, we look back to see that the heat made the plants grow that fed our family.  The cold snap calmed downt he allergans that were making us miserable.  That car may have been old and slow but it kept us safe.  The kids were growing up and, well, being kids.  And God provided a new job that we could never have been dreamed of in our wildest imaginative regions.

He was working.

We were complaining.   And He was still working.

Father, forgive me for being so short-sighted.  I will trust you.  On this path.  In this season.  With this breath.
You are working on my behalf and I am so amazed.

Thank you.

2010 Easter Pictures

The Beach Family
2010 Easter
Durango, CO

This year will be our 19th Wedding Anniversary
He still makes my heart flutter.

David Christopher

Ashley Ruth Wilson Beach

Our Boys

My Friends
Angela Michal and Marilyn Rogers

Pictures from the Big Finish

Honestly, officer, this is where we found him!

The Kitchen! 

Living Room - New Carpet

Chris's Room - It's Clean!

and so is Ashley's Room!

Friday, April 2, 2010

The Big Finish

About 13 months ago, we looked at the prospects of selling our home and moving further into the woods.  A dream of ours - to have a home surrounded by pines and land to hike and hunt.  As the housing market went bottomward, we decided to stay put and do some remodeling.

We began downstairs with fresh paint and carpet, turning the extra bedroom into a classroom and making the den a place for the kids to hang with video games and a foosball table.  It took about 3 months.

I do not deal well with chaos, but I handled that quite well.  No tears.

In January we began the process of looking at how to remodel our kitchen / dining area.  We made the cabinet order and in February began the demo.  Here it is April 2nd and it's the last day of contrators!  The carpets are being laid in the bedrooms and then we are done. 

It's amazing to look back at the past 8 weeks:
   1 Superbowl Party
   2 Emergency Room Visits
   1 Major Surgery
   8 weeks of school work
   3 flooring changes
   1 Vacation (much needed!)
Then the things you can't count:
   How many times you bit your tongue as your spouse made another change (guess who!)
   How many times your son sighed at you over having to move something - again.
   How many times your daughter changed her carpet choice - we chose the color in the end.
   How many times you have moved the towels to accomodate pantry changes, cabinet changes, etc.
   The kleenexes used as dust has been stirred up from moving furniture.

And only one day of tears!  I stood in my kitchen Wednesday and cried - I can't do this!

But I did!

One of my favorite sayings comes from my mom.  After a major surgery that went majorly wrong, I was in the bathroom vomiting yet again and my mom wiped my forehead with a wet cloth and said, "You are closer to the end of this than the beginning."

Closer to the End.

I think that means in everything.  Every journey begins with a single step - yes that's cliche, but it's true.  And each step brings you closer to the end that you were before.  It's like telling your children who ask for the hundreth time on a road trip, "are we almost there?" - Well, we are closer than we were.

We are closer to the end of an illness.  We are closer to the end of financial trouble.  We are closer to the end of strife.

And, we are closer to the end of this World - which means we are closer to meeting Jesus face to face!

At least, I hope you are closer.

Remember, knowing about God doesn't assure your eternity.  Satan knows about God.  It's knowing Him.  It's having a relationship with the Creator of the Universe.

It is saying, God, we all mess up - me included.  But your Son, Jesus died for my sins.  I want to know You, God.  I want to know your Son.  I want You to know me, too.  Forgive my sins, my short-fallings, my disobedience.  From today, I choose to follow You.  Alone.

It is the message of Easter.

It is admitting that God is the one true God.  That Jesus is His only Son.  Beliving that Jesus died for your sins, a final sacrifice for all mankind.  Confessing that, "I am Christ's child!  He loves me!"  and Deciding to follow Him forever.

And then you are closer to the end than the beginning!