Okay, I am not up for any Mother of the Year award this year. In fact, a Mean Momma award would probably garnish me nominations from my family.
I've been testy and edgy; short tempered, shorter fused; high strung and have left a trail of blood behind me. Maybe that's an exaggeration - a little.
Part of it is allergies. They are horrible this year! And the meds that don't really seem to help leave me groggy and fussy.
Part of it is spring fever and adjusting to being together 24/7. I love teaching my kids but I've not had a break in a while. Yesterday, I went to my room and shut the door - for 4 hours! I read some and took a nap.
Partly, I miss my friends from work greatly. I miss that daily interaction and our wordsmith session. I miss the coffee and lunch. And yes, I occassionally miss the paycheck!
And a big part this past week is looking at another surgery for Ashley. The screws should come out on Friday. But, are they doing to do anything else? Seems like they always find something else they can tweak, change, inject, stretch, lengthen, fuse or just plain play with. Fourteen hours of driving - half of which you hope she doesn't have a seizure or throw up.
Frankly, I think I've been a pill because I don't want to be the adult this week. I want to be the kid! I want someone else to take care of this. I miss my dad. I want to curl up in his lap like I'm still 5 and the whole world is quiet and peaceful.
So, I go to my Father. I curl up in his lap. Father God, make this all go away! No, he answers, but I will go through it with you.
Yup, here come the tears.
"Bring all your needs to the altar,
Bring all your needs to the Lord;
He is so willing and able to help you,
Bring all your needs to the Lord."
Here they are God. My needs are not neat. My problems aren't tied in a nice bundle. They are not pretty, but I can't keep them any longer. Here they are. You are willing. You are able. I'm not.
Phillippians 4:7 reads:
"Then God's peace, which goes beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your thoughts and emotions through Christ Jesus." God's Word Translation
or another translation:
"And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." King James
In our time of trial, God's peace will keep our thoughts and emotions calm!
I will rest in Him! In this time of unrest - so many friends are hurting and facing trials - I will take their name before the Father.
There's plenty of room in His lap for all of us!
P.S. - Yes, I have apologized to my family. They voted that mom needs more sleep and less Benadryl!