First, this rambling is not a doctoral thesis on the theological ramification of relationships and God's will. It's what I've experienced. It's what God is revealing to me. Like an onion. Layer by layer.
Some things we must always remember:
God created us. Remember that. In all of glory. Our beauty. Our bumps, bruises. Our wide hips, thick lips. Our wave hair. Our skinny thighs. All of us.
God created us for relationship. With parents. With family. With friends. Good ones we celebrate. Bad ones we learn from. Easy ones. Hard ones. Ones that are part of our life for a short season as well as relationships that last for eternity.
God created us for Relationship with Him. We were meant to live in Paradise with Him. We were meant to life forever. He desires to have a relationship with us each moment of each day.
Things got messed up when sin entered the Garden. Relationships were made harder. God had to seek us out while we hid in the bushes. Shame entered the garden. That's what makes sex hard to talk about. Shame.
Somewhere along the line, probably about the time of Sin, we became ashamed of who we were - God's creation. Shame because we as a race disobeyed God. This continues today - ashamed of our bodies, ashamed of our flaws. But God doesn't see any flaws!
Note: I am not advocating nudity, free love, etc. Modesty in all things. But take a look at how sin changed what we see as good.
Ever see a toddler who has found a forbidden cookie? They don't display it proudly. They go and hide. Adam and Eve hid from God in the Garden and we have been hiding from God ever since.
Why did God create Marriage? Why did he give us sexual relations?
First, Marriage is a glimpse into our relationship with God. Intimate. Sacred. Pleasing. Safe.
Second, sexual relations are hard-wired into our bodies a physiological need. It reduces stress. It's a relational need - it builds intimacy. It's an emotional need - it reminds us of what relation is important - our relationship with our spouse.
What does God say about sex? Song of Solomon says alot! It's great! It's good! It's relaxing! It's between one woman and one man who are husband and wife! It's part of God's plan!
Sex in marriage fulfills God's promise - the two become one.
Sex outside of marrige brings shame and consequences - disease from multiple partners, unplanned pregnancies, broken relationships from adultry.
Does it require work? You betcha.
But that's another post.
Remember, this is a work in progress God is hammering out in my heart.