I don't usually post a "MBM" but today I have something on my heart -
I have such a hard time remembering things! I was once able to recall every phone number I had ever had as a child; I could recall every medication and dosage I had ever give my children; I knew people's names quite well - now I'm not sure of my own name. My husband says my head is too full! I'm always thinking, organiing, planning. So, maybe he's right.
But I want to always Remember God's Grace.
So - after Sis's last surgery, it took 9 days and countless phone calls to foreign lands to get the correct crutches for her. She cannot use traditional under-the-arm crutches because of her left hand, so she must use forearm crutches. They healthcare company brought a Child's Size to the hospital - it was for a toddler. She is 11. They were 21" tall at their full extension. She is 56" tall. So they sent us home with adult-size and promised they would be there on Saturday am. Nope.
Monday. Nope. Tuesday. Nope.
It took 9 days for the correct crutches to arrive. Cute and purple and perfect. They will grow with her if she needs any further surgeries - which is likely. Of course, she only needed one by the time they arrived and only used it for a few days.
Where's the blessing? My friend Kr*sten has a rare bone disorder. As a child, her bones suddenly turned 90 degrees and began to grow. Her hips dislocate easily. She is in alot of pain. As our Girl Scout leader, I've seen her at camps taking morphine to function; her hips have dislocated and she had us put the tent flaps down so the girls wouldn't see - such pain! And then, she hiked 5 miles! Basically on her hands with forearm crutches.
After years of constant use, she could use a new pair. But they are expensive.
But our insurnace didn't ask for the "wrong" ones back! they said to keep them! And we gifted them.
I am reminded that our ways our not God's ways.
I was so upset with the nameless Healthcare company. I was in tears. I fought on the phone and then got eerily quiet with them (yeah, freaked us both out!). I wrote emails.
Finally, God said, "why are you fighting this? You can't control them. Let it go." And I did.
And God provided Kristen a new set of crutches. We were just a conduit.
I am ashamed for being so upset. I will remember that He is working ALL things for the good of His children - even when, no especially when I don't see it.
So in my box, I am putting a list. I make lots of lifsts. They are my way of making order in my life. But I want to be reminded that my order and God's Ways are not the same - I must let go.
A song: Let Go and Let Jesus take Over / and I know He will make a way for you!