Love Always, Kim

Live Outloud!

2012-01-19T15:34:00.000-08:00

A woman seeing us leave the Sports Club said, "that family looks happy!"

Her friend replied, "Yup, they are that way all the time."

Best testimony we could live.

Remember someone is watching you!

Do We Just Hear or Do We Listen

2012-01-16T13:16:00.000-08:00

I was probably 15 when I became aware of the country of Romania. A friend I met at camp was training with a famous gymnastics Coach from this country and she would tell the stories he told of his homeland. They always stuck with me.

Romania.

Over 6 years ago we joined a church. They send a Missions Team every Christmas to Romania. So cool. I loved seeing the pictures Tom and Alyssa posted and hearing Morris' talk about the kids.

Last fall, our kids held a Pancake Breakfast at church. Morris called me over. "Kim," he said, "Tom just asked me who I thought should go to Romania with us. I told him, Kim Beach." Wow.

So after Christmas this year, I send Tom an email asking how much money Ashley and I would need to go with them on their 10th Anniversary Trip to Romania. I was amazed it was cheaper than I thought, but still a hunk of change. For two of us. And now, Chris said he wants to go. Let's see, 3 x $3400 = alot of faith.

Then today, I jumped on me blog and scrolled down to see where visitors were coming from - Romania. Did I read that right? Romania?

We often pray to hear God, but so often we just don't listen. I'm Listening God.

Romania? With my two kids?

Counting on You to provide. Counting on You to prepare the way.

I'm listening. . . keep talking!!

Do Over Plan

2012-01-09T10:41:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite attributes of God is His Gracious "Do Over" Plan. Don't you remember playing games as a kid and a mistake would be made and someone would yell, "DO OVER!"

There was always one quicky thinking kid in the bunch who would start the game by calling, "No Do Overs." This kid was never my friend.

My best friend growing up was Melissa. We started kindergarten together and went through elementary school. Her mom was my middle school math teacher. Her brother our constant nemesis.

She taught me to tie my shoes.

And with her death, she reminded me to live.

If it weren't for Melissa, I would have sat on the bench through most recesses and PE classes. I am not nor have ever been athletic. Volleyball is about my only sport - no running involved. But I have to admit my pulse raced and fear pounded in my temples every time the ball came towards me. No one knows the courage it took for me to be on the court.

But Melissa was different. She could play many sports. And she was good. And when she was Captain, I was always chosen second.

And she always let me have Do Overs.

Each morning, each Monday, each first of the month, each new year can be seen as a Do Over. And that's how I've approached life. Mess up. Go to bed, sleep if off. Do Over.

2011 was super busy. Two surgeries for my kiddo. School. My own health difficulties. But it wasn't bad. I don't need a do over.

I want a Do It Better year.

Matthew 6:33 is my Do It Better Motto.

     "But seek first his kingdom and His
        righteousness, and all these things
        will be given to you as well."

We got alot right in 2011. We did better than 2010. But I want to do better!

Each morning, I'm dedicated my beginning to Christ. Through His word. Through prayer. Through the quiet of His presence. I'm counting on Him to add the other things - housework, teaching, health, finances.

It's a sacrifice. I like sleep! I have trouble getting to sleep and like to sleep in. This is requiring a life change.

But He is always worth the extra effort!

Can't wait to see where He leads this year!

So, tell me this, What's Your Do Better verse this year?

Merry Christmas 2011

2011-12-31T10:49:00.000-08:00

In keeping with my family's least favorite Holiday Tradition, everyone was dressed 15 minutes before we needed to leave for Christmas Morning service to have pictures made. They may not like doing it, but they are sure gorgeous!

And the best . . .

Merry Christmas to our friends and family -

We are so blessed to have each of you in our lives.

May God richly bless you this Holiday.

Christmas Pics with Gran

2011-12-31T10:42:00.000-08:00

My mom was able to visit this Christmas! The kids liked showing their Gran where they live, their church and friends and their home.

This Good Day

2011-12-14T11:08:00.000-08:00

Today is peacefully quiet in our home. The kids are working on lessons, I'm doing my Bible study and praying; the crock pots are cooking dinner for the Youth Group and the dog is snoring.

The peace is palitable. Like a warm coat and fuzzy mittens you love. Knitted with care by loving hands.

Outside the clouds cover the Colorado mountains in the same manner, wrapping them in a snug blanket of winter white.

The whole of the atmosphere seems to speak,

"Be Still my soul. Know, I am God!"

Still Going....

2011-12-07T12:32:00.000-08:00

In the past 5 weeks we have:

Been to Denver twice. Ashley has had surgery once.
Been To ABQ. CHris played a soccer tournament
Taken down Fall Decorations.
Put up Christmas decorations.
Rehearsed and Directed Music for Children's Christmas Program.
Made Xmas lists.
Xmas shopped.
Wrapped gifts.
Sneezed. Coughed. Ran Fever. Passed it around.
Got better.
Started it again.

And you wonder why I haven't written a blog?

The 99 Cont'd

2011-12-01T08:22:00.000-08:00

So the 99% are following the 1%. Showing God's great love.

As our friends move to Phoenix we wish them well and pray God's grace and protection for them. They are completing a great calling. They are driven by a God-given passion.

Not only will their newest gem get great medical care, but so will two other little treasures. I will so miss my Christmas Cookie Buddy!

Good things, friends!

Go with God!

Follow at: www.aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com

The 99

2011-11-08T09:12:00.000-08:00

With the occupy W*all Str**t hullabaloo, there's alot of talk about the 99. But, wouldn't you know it, God said it first! He's always so on top of things!

Luke 15

The Parable of the Lost Sheep

¹ Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. ² But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”

³ Then Jesus told them this parable: ⁴ “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? ⁵ And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders ⁶ and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ ⁷ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

Wondering if we would be willing to leave our 99 to go find that lost lamb? What would it take to move us into saving one soul? What about simply buying someone a cup of coffee and showing them someone, somewhere is thinking of them? Are we willing to just SMILE at the person in the check-out line who is obviously having a hard day and her screaming kids give evidence to the fact that she is on the brink?

Some friends are rescuing the one. It has required great sacrifice on each member of the family - from the littlest to the oldest. They miss mom. They are tired of babysitting and maybe they are all just a little tired of each other. :)

But they are united in the ONE. And the 1.

Read their story here:
www.aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com

WARNING: You will want to place some judgement based on your own bias. You will ask Why? How? Your humanness will call it crazy. But I'm sure the other Shepherds thought it crazy for the Shepherd to leave and go after the 1, too. And remember, God came after you. Again and Again. And he would still do it today!

Just one preview...

2011-11-07T15:58:00.000-08:00

Today I photographed baby Jason! I had to post a preview pic! or pics.

Snowing

2011-11-07T15:51:00.000-08:00

Almost 5:00 pm. Time to start dinner. Chris is playing the drums. Ashley is playing with Sherman. I'm sitting at my computer contemplating the need for a vacation. Outside my window the snow is falling. Beautiful.

The soft flakes are coating the last green leaves of grass. And it's so quiet out there.

The heater hums softly - I have it sitting on Ashley's desk facing me - I'm a little chilly on this pre-winter night.

And my mind is quiet too. I could sit and stare for hours out this window. I think I must might!

Turn off the lights. Open the curtains and watch the snow fall.

And pray the good fairy fixes dinner, folds laundry and remembers to record Terra Nova for me!

Lucky #7

2011-10-26T09:46:00.000-07:00

She did it! Surgery number 7! (Yes, I thought it was #8, but I miscounted.)

As before her last surgery, Ashley fasted soda pop for 4 weeks - last time it was two months! She was very committed to her fast and her promise to God.

Marilyn flew in on Wednesday to go to surgery with us - this was her 3rd. She's got the routine down. She's my extra set of ears. Let's me do my own coping. Carries bags, fixes coffee and sits with Ashley when I've got to get out of the room. A true friend.

David and I have had the "divide and conquer" mentality for healthcare. We have two children. Each child gets a parent. We hate this separation. We are the Fabulous Four and function much better together. But texting and phones keep us close. And nothing beats the beautiful prayer Chris prayed over us before we left.

On Wednesday night, Marilyn, Kayle, Ashley and I put purple streaks in our hair. Purple is the color for Pediatric Stroke Awareness - We Streak for Strokes!

(Purple is dark and doens't show well in photos but they're there!)

The night before surgery Ashley was able to eat dinner, walk the mall and have a sleepover with her friends Felicity and Caitlin. I don't think those girls have ever notice that Ashley has any type of disability. It was great seeing the girls laughing and shopping and giggling. If the Randol's ever wondered why they live in Denver - it just may be because we need them! They have definitely learned the lesson of the God of Just enough and are now moving into the area of God of More than Enough. Their new home is set in the forest and was a wonderful way to start our busy day.

(View from their deck.)

On Friday morning, we stopped by Bass Pro - Sommer and Sean went with us! Who can pass a trip to Bass Pro and stocking up on bulk cinnamon bears and starlight mints! Then it was off to the hospital.

For our 2:45 surgery time, we checked in at 12:15. And waited until 5:00. We were all done. Ashley and I were walking the halls of pre-op when we saw Dr. Chang. "She's done," I said, "and we're leaving."

Actually we were headed to the activity room where she could play on the computer. Dr. Chang couldn't find us! Funny guy. When he did arrive in the activity room, Ashley presented him with a challenge. Dr. Chang is known for his great casts - stars, moons, mixed colors, glow in the dark. Well, Ashley gave him two cookie cutters - a dog and a dog bone - and I said, "here's what I want." He studied them and said he could do it.

And he did!

It was late before Ashley got in her room. Honestly, this was the best she has ever done after surgery - no screaming, no thrashing, no massive spasms. Oh, our God is good!

In her room, we hung posters - pictures of family, scriptures.

We need to see God's promises ever before us!

On Saturday morning, we saw the Physical Therapist. Lovely lady! She's helped us twice now. And we saw one of our favorite nurses from Romania. She has always been so kind to us.

By 10:00 am, the Randols were back to help us get out. Ryan got the car for us and put her in. Sean was in charge of the red wagon with the suitcases and each girl was carrying things for Ashley.

We loaded her in the car and by 11:00 am we were in the car headed south.

Uneventful trip home. Lovely colors. Worship music.

And God.

Always with us!

Always present!

Always More than Enough!

God's Provision

2011-10-22T05:57:00.001-07:00

After hours of delay, Ashley was in surgery 120 minutes. Doctors said it went text book perfect! She has had little pain. Rested well - we all did! That's God!

Even the wheelchair was right!

He is our Provider. As we need it. Each minute. Each. Breath.

Thank you Father!

Easier?

2011-10-19T12:02:00.001-07:00

Anyone who says things get easier with time has never had a child with a chronic medical condition, or put their child on an operating table multiple times. They've never waited years to conceive a child then have that dream fade like a wispy vapor.

However what does get better with time is Gods grace. It grows richer and thicker. It wraps you like a warm, worm quilt. It quiets your mind. It brings rest to your body when sleep alludes you.

Grace. So amazing. So pure. So free.

Lessons from A Soccer Season

2011-10-12T12:40:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's almost over! Just a few more games and Chris's first year on Junior Varsity will be done.

Those close to us know I'm insane.

You see, conditioning started the second week in June. After a two week break after Club play. Every day, for two hours. Plus 10 sessions of personal conditioning to strengthen and protect his back. Then, he had one week off in August. This is the 285 day of the year. He's played soccer approximately 191 days of those 285. That's 67% of this year. At an average of 2 hours a day that's 382 hours of play. There have been roughly 6,840 hours in this year to date. Approximately 20% of this year has been spent with a soccer ball.

Twenty percent of his life his year has been spent on a Mission Field. We teach our kids what we so firmly believe - you are all called to go. "Go into all the world," means the soccer field, the dance studio, the doctor's office, the grocery store, your business and even the blog-o-sphere.

At one point the fatigue of the season hit him. He asked to not go to practice. We knew he was tired - did you read those statistics? But he had made a commitment. We made him go. Then he went to Youth that night. Commitment is hard, service is not always fun. It's about learning to be a Man. A Man of Character.

A Man of God.

Sometimes it means standing alone.

Doing what's right when no one else does.

Leading the pack.

Treating people with respect.

Going the extra mile.

Being early.

Staying late.

Supporting those who are cruel.

Loving those who are mean.

Keeping your mouth shut.

Speaking up for those with no voice.

And before someone goes "holy" on me and yells about a "balanced" life - Chris has also learned an important lesson on his own this year. As he saw himself spending more and more time in the sport, God began to deal with him on how much time he spent on his relationship with God. Each day he spends time alone, reading the Word of God. Studying his Father's plan.

I don't believe in a "balanced" life. I believe in an integrated life. We are born-again Christians. It's who we are. It's what we believe. It permeates every pore of our being.

We are not perfect - far from it! Just ask someone who lives with us! But we are working each day to be closer to our Father. We take God with us everywhere! He doesn't get left on the doorstep. The warm-up bench. The waiting room. The office door. We believe God uses every opportunity, ever failure, every success; every bump in the road, mountain top high and valley low - everything! to bring us closer to Him.

Even 191 days of soccer.

Another lesson learned.

PS - I will not even being to add up how many miles we've driven. Let's see, 2-a-days; 3-a-days; training; Albuquerque league, Denver Showcase, Tournaments.........

Funny.

2011-10-06T13:30:00.000-07:00

So in my zeal to blog, since I hadn't done so in weeks, I posted on the wrong blog. The hazards of keeping two going I suppose.

www.livinginhishope.blogspot.com - my other site.

The irony is, I'm writing about planning and letting God direct.

I wonder why God "directed" my steps to post there. Someone must need to read some tidbit I posted.

Obedience.

That's all He asks.

A Good Parent

2011-09-26T08:07:00.000-07:00

What is a good parent?

What do they look like? What do they say?

Are they always smiling? Laughing?

Do they know how to make the best french toast? Meatloaf? Bread? Scrambled eggs?

What do you say a Good Parent looks like?

A Life of Worship

2011-09-25T20:54:00.000-07:00

"The highest form of worship is obedience." - Mark Palmer

Makes me think.

I want to live a life of worship. I want to do it to the best of my ability. I want it to be worthy of the God who has given me life.

But what is he asking of me?

I voiced this to Ashley. Her answer? Maybe he's telling you to be still.

Hmm.

Still.

Stillness.

Quiet.

The hardest part of living.

Going and Going and Going

2011-09-07T10:46:00.000-07:00

For the first time in weeks I looked around and, well, breathed.

There's always things to do. And there's still a list on my desk.

But fall is in the air. And somehow the list doesn't seem so important to me.

School is going. Assignments being made and kept. Run kids places in the afternoon.

Soccer. Dance. Church. Groceries. Doctors. Therapies.

It's all good.

No worries.

I'm liking this breathing thing.

New School Year

2011-08-29T12:52:00.000-07:00

Vista Academy 2011-2012 Begins!

Our Classroom - Messy but Functional

Teacher - Mentor - Mom

Chris reading.

Ashley working at her desk.

Even Sherman has a place!

Reading time in her Room!

Cheese!

Here I Am

2011-08-23T18:52:00.000-07:00

...in Oklahoma.

Where it's beyond warm and humidity takes on a whole new meaning.

My hair is bright red from the water and curly from the moisture in the air. It takes forever to dry!

This week, I was to begin training for the Run for Orphans. The air temperature doesn't get bearable until it's been dark 60 minutes! And I'm coughing. My mom has a cute kitten but she is not kind to my allergies so I'm using my inhalers.

I have been able to finish school reports and work on next years plans and read some. Cooked alot. Freezing stuff. My mom stays quite a bit at my aunt and uncle's house - okay they're really my cousins but in the south anyone close to your parents age is an aunt and uncle.

Chris made the Junior Varsity soccer team as a sophomore. I"m very proud of him. He has worked hard all summer to make it; to show himself approved. Workouts, runs, healthy diet. Now we have his schedule and it's alot of travel - but I won't miss a game.

That means the Run for Orphans is presenting a dilemma. We will be in Grand Junction that weekend. I"m thinking I will do my Run, rather Walk, the week before. I've made a commitement. Don't think I can run it - can't even breathe well - but I can walk it.

Funny how things don't ever turn out like we except. Sometimes they're better. Sometimes not. It's not the results that matter but how you handle them. How do you hold on to your integrity? What do you do with the unexpected crisis, and the equally, the unexpected blessing?

I want to meet them both with equal grace. Not given to worry or self-glory. I've done nothing in myself to warrant either - my Father knows what I need and what I can handle and he knows what refining fire I need at each stage of my life.

Grace, Grace, God's Grace!

My prayer.

Crazy

2011-08-14T15:44:00.001-07:00

I'm doing it.

Running.

The River Run for Orphans

145 million orphans in the world.

65 million in the United States.

Alone.

Can you imagine?

Give.

Give something.

Kim Beach
2571 CR 220
Durango, CO 81303

Watch for news on my progress!

The Dirt

2011-08-03T14:00:00.000-07:00

I've never been one to enjoy the outdoors. Mostly because it makes me sneezy, itchy, wheezy - and few other dwarfs I've forgotten. My memories of the outdoors as a child involve the park with my mom and watching clouds go by - a nice memory. Then there's the endless nights at the ball park while the church softball team played; the 120+ temperatures at the west Texas sand dunes with sand in places it should never be; sitting on the bank of a dank, humid river with my grandpa while he attempted to teach me to fish - okay I like the part about my grandpa but not the heat and hummidity.

My Grandparents Roork didn't have an air conditioner. It would be 120 + (my new favorite number) at bedtime. You laid on top of the covers because it was just too hot! I remember one day my cousin and I took 5 cold baths because it was so hot. The summer Grandma and Grandpa put a window unit in the kitchen, we all slept in the living room with the bedroom doors closed to keep the cool(er) air in the central room. We laughed and giggled - my mom, aunt, my cousin, Grandma and Grandpa and me - until Grandma declared, "that's enough" and we settled into blissful, frigid sleep.

All of my grandparents and my parents for that matter, like the outdoors. They had gardens. Pretty flowers, fresh vegetables, lush lawns. Where was I? Inside. Reading. Maybe watching the Miss America Pageant - a great end to the summer. Mostly reading. But not in any dirt.

Moving to Colorado, I met dirt. And we developed a truce. There's an appropriate time to be dirty and dusty. But once I enter my travel trailer, the dirt must stay outside. The first years of camping I made everyone take their shoes off outside. Everyone showered every night. Even the dog got a bath at the outside shower. I traveled with enough clothes to survive a natural disaster.

I'm progressing. I insist on showers every-other night. And the dog can wait til we get home. And shoes - ah, keep 'em on. That's why we have vacuums and brooms! Plus the socks were being ruined by everyone walking OUTSIDE in them.

Today is my 20th Anniversary and it makes me take a retrospective of my life. Some things I'm so proud of - my kids. Other things embarrass me - my in-laws were so patient with a mouthy, insecure know-it-all. My how I've changed!

When we were first married, a spider sent me screaming for my husband. Once when David was traveling for work and we'd been married about 3 months, a mouse dared to walk across my living room floor. I screamed, ran to the garage, went to the all-night W*l-M*art and bought a dozen disposable traps. I was awake all night til I heard the "snap". I through away the entire trap and then slept an hour before work!

Last week, a bee flew in the car and I just watched him. Never flinched. I've been known to kill a spider with my bare hand! Wipe it on my jeans and go on. Okay, that only happens when I'm camping, but I'm getting there!

Today, I dropped Chris off at soccer and came home for my two hour afternoon break before picking him up, taking him home, driving to church, driving to dinner.... I decided to head to the garden - Ashley and David's summer project. They are growing tomatoes, green beans, peppers and squash and a variety of flowers in another plot. I wanted to plant some petunias in there while they were still seeding. I grabbed the little hoe and went to work.

The dirt smelled good. Clean. Alive. Soon the wind began to blow and the wind chimes sing in the breeze. Large drops fell from the sky and I kept working. A little water never hurt anyone.

I pulled weeds. Planted flowers. Trimmed hollyhocks. And mostly enjoyed myself!

Time changes us all. The great outdoors I once dreaded today brought me peace. The rain reminded me that good and happens. It's all part of the day. Part of our life. Enjoy it.

Today I danced in the rain.

And I am thankful.

Thank you Lord for changing our hearts.

(okay, not everything changes. This fly swarming my keyboard seriously needs to find a new home before he is sent to an early meeting with his maker!)

20 Years

2011-08-03T13:37:00.000-07:00

Today is our 20th Anniversary!

I'm usually full of words, but today, my heart is just at peace. Twenty years with those blue eyes that still make my heart beat faster. Twenty years of hand-holding that still make me feel protected. Twenty years of kisses and tears and laughter and smiles.

Thank you Father God for this beautiful man to spend my life with. Thank you for his heart. For his mind. For his work ethic. For his desire for his children. For his love for me.

Here's to...forever!

Birthday Party at the Bar D

2011-07-27T19:49:00.000-07:00

For her Birthday dinner, Ashley chose the Bar-D Wranglers Chuckwagon Dinner and Show! Sounds fancy? It's alot of fun! Our friends, the Blegers and the Palmers joined us as well as Chris and Kayle (who had just drove into town after returning from Cambodia).

The Chapel at the Bar-D

With her dad. Same smile. Same spirit.

My friend Jill and my little friend Kate, her daughter.

Jill and her son Kale. Jill's birthday is the 30th of July!

The gang's all here!

Miss Maddie - her birthday is the 27th of July!

Friends - Kale and Katrina

My beautiful friend Tiffany and Miss Violet

Mom and Son

Sweethearts! So blessed with our friends and family and by a wonderful Heavenly Father who loves us so!

Ashley Turns 13!

2011-07-25T16:31:00.000-07:00

Our beautiful daughter turns 13!

Here's to you,

Miss Ashley Ruth Wilson Beach

July 24, 1998

Star of the theatre

A beauty at every holiday.

With magic in her hands.

Braver than any superhero!

With a song in her heart.

And a smile on her face.

Confident in who she is in Christ.

Miss Ashley Ruth

We love you!

Botox and Cast Removal

2011-07-14T10:51:00.000-07:00

On July 9th, we loaded the family up and headed back to Denver. We left early in the morning so we could stop in Colorado Springs, CO before heading on in to Denver to see a Rapids game that night (more pics of that later). On Sunday we shopped, visited with friends and laughed alot!

Then, Monday morning, we headed to the Children's Hospital of Colorado. Ashley saw Dr. Matthews for Botox injections in her calf to release the tendons in her toes. Amazing how that all works!

These pictures are from her camera, and her point of view - unless she's in the picture!

Waiting for the doctor.

The Child Life Specialist brought her a TV to watch movies.

Almost ready. The versed has kicked in. The numbing medicine has worked.

She wanted her brother by her.

Ah the sweet sleep of drugs.

All Done! It went so well!

After the botox, we ate lunch and then saw Dr. Scott where she had her cast removed.

She was so glad to have that thing off her arm!

Her skin had a reaction to the tape and was looking

kinda icky. But much better now!

The doctor was so pleased with the outcome and her ability to

use her finger and arm. Thank you, Jesus!

So far...

2011-07-07T12:25:00.000-07:00

Wow! It's July 7th? How? When?

Our summer has gone something like this....

May 25 - Finished School Year
May 26 - Pack and Drive to Denver
May 27 - Ashley had surgery; Check in Soccer Team; Begin Soccer Tournament
May 28 - Pain bad for Ashley; meet repeatedly with Pain Team; David's Parents and Sis-in-Love and neice and nephew arrive in Denver; Try a drug for Sis - works amazingly! Move her to the hotel; Tournament play continues
May 29 - At the Hotel; Ashley goes out for lunch and a little shopping; back to hotel to sleep; Tournament play continues
May 30 - Everyone heads to Durango via Colorado Springs where we stop for the Mall and lunch for Chris's Bday! Let the caravan begin!
May 31 - Rest!
June 1 - Ashley to DR; Allergy to latex worsening
June 2 - Family
June 3 - Family
June 4 - Grandma, Grandpa, and the boys in one car; Aunt Alison, myself and the girls in another car - off to Oklahoma we go!
June 5 - Arrive after 18 hours of travel!!!!! Lunch with my dad and mike
June 6 - my moms; lunch with a friend; dinner with friends
June 7 - work at my moms; lunch with Aunt Bev
June 8 - work at my moms
June 9 - play a little at the Tulsa Air and Space Museum; lunch with friends
June 10 - Grandma and Grandpa's house
June 11 - Kids and I drive back from Oklahoma; too tired to do it one day - take two!
June 12 - Home to my Sweetie!!!!
June 13-17 - Fixed BBQ Chicken; Ashley got new purple cast! Larry and Marilyn here for court date; prepare for a wedding
June 17 - wedding; beautiful day; not feeling well
June 18 - not well; Father's Day Car Show Downtown Durango - fun!!!
June 19 - yucky. My favorite room - the bathroom.
June 20 - Emergency Room - food poisoning from my own cooking!!! yeah. not proud. Dang Chicken.
June 6 - June 30 - soccer every morning; driving to get Chris; lunch with friends when can; mostly resting and recovering from camphlyobacter infection.
July 1 - nothing! Movie at night
July 2 - Kids Car Wash; Shopping; Bday party in the evening
July 3 - Church in the Park! Movie in afternoon; Dinner with Kids
July 4 - Soccer; Parade; Dinner with friends! Fireworks with friends
July 5 - Soccer; cleaning on house; making lists of things to do this summer - what summer?
July 6 - Soccer; completing lists; church softball; dinner with friends
July 7 - Slept in!!!!!!! Soccer; Lunch with my Kids!

.... and that's how we got here. Tired? Yeah, so am I.

Happy Fourth of July!

2011-07-06T11:56:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, America!

My First Apple Pie!

Very Patriotic

And very delicious!

Flowers on our back porch. David had them hanging when I came home from Oklahoma. Petunias are my favorite! And who can beat red, white and, well sorta, blue!

A Salute to America!

Watching the kids and waiting for Fireworks.

Our Gang!

Sweethearts Forever

And a very Happy Birthday!

Nieces and Nephews and Family, Oh my!!

2011-07-05T14:07:00.000-07:00

Addyson Nicole

Jacob Andrew

Avery

Cade William Lee

Keith, Chris and Cade

Aunt Kim and Avery

Aunt Kelli and Kim

Gran and her Kids

One Picture! That's all we ask! haha!

Thanks

2011-06-30T09:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in Broken Arrow, OK a family laid to rest their beautiful son. He was only 17. An Honor Student. He loved life. Loved to ski. Loved his family. And he was disabled.

My dad and step-mom live in Broken Arrow. My mom was born and raised there. My brother and sister-in-law live there. This is not a far-off remote corner of the United States, this is a suburb of where I went to school.

My dad called me with the news not because we knew the young man or his family. But because of what he left behind.

First of all, his family was celebrating their son's entry to Heaven. Now he can walk! No wheelchair! No pain!

Second, his family asked that instead of flowers, gifts be made to the Adaptive Sports Association of Durango, Colorado. An organization that has meant much to him and his family. And ours.

ASA gave our daughter speed! After being last in life her whole life, she declared, "I can go fast! I am first!"

I imagine that's how this young man felt too.

Thanks for the gift, ASA. Thank you to the family whose gifts will help sponsor scholarships.

You can read more at www.livinginhishope.blogspot.com.

My Kids - June 2011

2011-06-21T22:18:00.000-07:00

How 'about Some Soccer Pictures?

2011-06-21T21:15:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day!

2011-06-19T20:40:00.000-07:00

Here's to Dads!

My Dad and Ashley

June 2011

David and the Kids

June 2011

Durango Motor Expo

David's Dad - with Grandma and the Kids!

Still Here

2011-06-15T12:57:00.000-07:00

Living at the speed of supersonic life!

We've been going non-stop since May 26. It's now June 15th.

I'm tired.

But I'm seeing God move inside of me. Things he's teaching me. Places we're going.

He is so Amazing!

Surgery #6

2011-05-31T21:28:00.000-07:00

Another surgery down! A left wrist arthrodesis. Fun to say, not so fun to do!

Ashley did great through surgery. She awoke from anesthesia better than ever! We are accustomed to her thrashing, yelling at us, tell us to go away.

Not this time! She was sitting up smiling at us. For a little while at least.

Then the nerve block wore off. And it wasn't pretty.

Her left arm was in a tourniquet for 91 minutes - 30 minutes shy of when damage begins, but it still hurt a nerve. Never pain is worse than bone pain - and that ain't pretty!

It took hours and hours to find a drug cocktail to help. The magic pill? Lyrica! Wow! One dose. She went from crying and weeping to eating pancakes and going home in 2 hours! Just 2 hours!

The Pain Team at Children's is amazing!

Children's is amazing!
Read more at : http://www.livinginhishope.blogpost.com/

Today, we had to visit the orthopaedic here in Durango. Her hand was so swollen! And red and a rash developed on her upper arm.

Problem? She's allergic to latex.

Now we've added benadryl to her medication mix and it's getting better. Good thing to know, too.

She's resting tonight with her hand elevated - Hand Above Shoulder, Shoulder Above Heart.

Happy 15th Birthday Christopher!

2011-05-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

Celebrating a Life!

David Christopher Beach

Happy 15th Birthday!

Musician

Athlete

Cousin

Big Brother

With his dad in Disney World

His Adopted Little Bro - Jadon

Love that smile!

Happy Birthday!

First born child

Son of Promise

Blessing to our Family

Laughter to Our Heart

Smiles to Our Soul

Witty

Charming

Mighty Man of Valor

Our Son.

Well Done

2011-05-27T09:59:00.001-07:00

Ashley came through surgery quite well! In fact this is the best she has every awakened from surgery. They chose not to remove a row of bones from her wrist so they could achieve better fusion. They also inserted a catheter with pain meds in her shoulder and that can stay til Monday! She will spend tonight on hospital and be released to the hotel tomorrow. We will cone home Monday.

Thanks for all the prayers. God is so faithful. His mercy amazing.

Thursday Thoughts

2011-05-26T11:38:00.000-07:00

As we prepare for tomorrow's surgery, I wanted to share these pictures.

Surgery, April 2010 - removing hardware from r. knee

Friends make it better! The Randols.

My Girl!

Ashley and Marilyn. Her Grand Friend.

Allergic reaction to Benzoin. Yuck.

Flowers from Dad - Theatre Performance.

Fall 2010

Daddy Daughter Dance 2011

With Mom.

Her Biggest Fan - Daddy

Gait & Upper Extremities Lab Clinic

She Does It All !

Piano

Theatre

Skiing

Her Adopted Sis - Kayle

My Hero -

Not the Road we had Planned

Not the Path we had Dreamed

Not the Pain we had Expected

Nor the way we thought it should go

But God has always been so Faithful

He has never walked Away

Each day His Grace Amazes

More and More I am amazed and I want you to know -

You are my Hero

~ Mom 5/26/11

Go Big! Ashley's Surgery #5

2011-05-22T18:32:00.000-07:00

Here we go!

This one is exciting! Her surgeries have always improved function, but this one will also make take away pain in her shoulder and arm!

On Friday, May 27, Ashley will check into Denver's Children's Hospital at 10:30 in the morning to begin prepping for a 12:30 surgery. Dr. Scott will remove one row of bones in her left wrist and then fuse the wrist bones into a neutral position. Her hand will no longer curl in and rotate backwards! Something that is painful and quite annoying as well. In the fall, she will have surgery on her left leg again.

And because we do nothing in a small way, Chris will start playing in the Denver Real Tournament the same night! His team plays one game each on Friday, Saturday and Sunday and possibly on Monday as well.

And...what's Monday? His 15th birthday!

Can we pack anymore into this weekend?

Oh, yes, seeing the Colorado Rapids play Saturday night.

Thankfully, Grandma and Grandpa Beach are meeting us in Denver! They've met us for a Memorial Day Tournament the past 2 year - glad they can come this year! I can go see Chris play at least one game if not more -depending on how Sis feels.

So, if you think your week is busy just start thanking God you are not in my family with me in charge of schedling - we do everything in a big way.

Hey, Go Big or Go Home!

The Ring, Part 3

2011-05-20T07:00:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm wearing my ring! Every day. Right hand ring finger. Back where it belongs.

Jesus always taught in parables. His stories drew upon the simple every day things in people's lives that made an impact because they could relate to them.

Lost money,
"Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Doesn’t she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’" Luke 15:8-10

Lost children ~
    "We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was
      lost, but now he is found!'" Luke 15:32

God still teaches us that way today. If we listen. If we are paying attention!

When I grasped my ring and tears of relief poured down my face, I was praising God. I turned and looked at my bed and there sat my purse. The purse I had carried for two weeks. In the past 6 months, I've probably carried it a total of 8 weeks.

On my arm. In the chair. Besides me feet. My purse contained a treasure I had lost. I carried it with me for months!

I just didn't know it.

The answer to my prayer was in my hands! On my arm. I brushed against it mutiple times a day!

Only when I quit relying on fate, "Oh, it will turn up someday," and became desperate enough to take it to Father God, did I found my treasure!   He revealed the answer to me!

What are you searching for but not finding? Have you talked to God about it?

Or, what have you asked God for but not wanting to accept His answer, you keep ignoring His provision?

Take all your needs to Him - He wants to help.
    Pray

God will answer you - He desires to communicate with you.
    Listen.

His way is not yours - but it is the best way.
    Obey.

The Ring, Part 2

2011-05-19T11:53:00.000-07:00

Here it is! My Class Ring!

It's scuffed and scratched. It's been worn for 21 years!

It is capped with the Seal of the University of Tulsa

"Wisdom ~ Faith ~ Service"

"For Christ and the State"

Although you might be able to sympathize with me for loosing my ring, you must know what it symbolizes to me. First: It's hard work. It's favor with God. It's favor with Men. It's Friends. It's Fun. It's music and laughter.

But mostly, the ring it's sacrifice.

My parents were not wealthy people. When I entered college my mother was working for an international ministry but after 3 years, was injured and unable to work. My dad had left his career and was a car salesman. To purchase this ring, he umpired all summer before my birthday. Evenings. Weekends. Holidays. It was his sacrifice. They could have used the money to pay bills or buy groceries. It was her sacrifice.

I will never forget the sacrifices my parents made for my ring. For my education. For my music. For me.

The Ring

2011-05-18T12:29:00.000-07:00

In 1987 I graduated high school from Will Rogers High School in Tulsa, Oklahoma. At the time it was built, it was known as "Will on the Hill." Being so far out of town, it's location on a small hill made it very visible. Now it sits in a residential area and cannot be seen from the major street that encircle it. It remains a majestic salute to the artistsans of the WPA who built many works of art during the depression.

Not one to stray far from home, I traveled exactly 5 blocks west and attended the University of Tulsa on a music and academic scholarship thanks to Joe Metzer and Ron Predl who made sure I had the funds to study.

There I learned to love different styles of music and literature. I worked one year in the library (pictured above), a haven for me. I practiced for hours in Tyrell Hall and worked 3 years in the music department. I made life-long friends and met my husband there.

At the beginning of my senior year, my parents took me out for my birthday dinner and presented me with my University of Tulsa Class Ring. I have treasured that ring. I've worn it every day for years. Until last fall. After a trip to Oklahoma, I couldn't find it. I didn't worry. Things always turn up.

December. January. February. No Ring.

March. Hmmm. Started to worry.

April. I told David I couldn't find it. Was sure it would turn up when I got out the suitcases to pack for soccer tournaments.

May. Mother's Day - still no ring.

Monday. Suitcases. No Ring.

Tuesday. Panic.

Cosmetic bags. No ring.

Deep sadness.

This morning - I prayed. I began going through all my purses. Got the big box down - emptied every pocket. Nothing.

Okay. Deep breath. I began putting stuff in a different purse to take to the soccer tourament. Travel requires bigger bags. (this is lost on men). I sorted, filed, cleaned, trashed.

Before I put away the now empty bag I had been carrying for 2 weeks, I patted down all the pockets. Something I normally do. I felt a lump in a tiny obscure zipper section. Earrings, I thought. For some strange reason, I often remove my earrings and put them in my purse.

I dumped the bag and out fell two silver ball earings. And one gold class ring!

My ring!

I grasped it to my heart and start praising God, "Thank you Jesus! You heard me! You found my ring!"

....to be continued.

My Girl and Guy - Daddy Daughter Dance 2011

2011-05-10T16:50:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day in Durango

2011-05-10T15:54:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day 2011

Sunshine & Soccer

David and Kayle

Fort Lewis College Stadium

So, this is life

2011-05-09T09:25:00.000-07:00

Honestly, not one of my days goes like I had dreamed. Life in general has definitely been different.

Thought that at 41, I'd be living in mid-town Tulsa - I love the old homes! My husband would be an executive in a gas company with offices in one of the beautiful buildings that dominates the downtown Tulsa skyline. Our four kids would go to public school. Our sons play football, our daughers dance and cheer. And everyone play musical instruments. I would be the PTA mom; the Football Boosters and Band Boosters Mom. We would be at every football game and band concert and attend all of our alumni football games too. We would attend a large church. Be involved. Serve as a family.

Yeah. No.

I married a man who moved me to the country.

My midtown home never materialized. Our first two homes were in the quintessential suburbs of Tulsa. House number 3 took me out of Tulsa County. House number 4 - well, instructions included, "go over the one-lane bridge to the dirt road. We are the third dirt driveway on the right. Just past the gas well and overlooking the cow pasture." My current home is in the mountains of Colorado! A far cry from downtown anywhere! And I'd love to be further up the mountain. In the tall pines. To sit on my porch and lisen to the wind whistle through their needles. Drink my coffee (another thing I picked up in Colorado). Read. Sit. Have friends over. My love of cabins with peaked roofs and tall windows is a far cry from the mid-town craftsmen homes of which I once dreamed.

My four kids turned into two that we fought for! We prayed for! We fasted and begged God for! Fertility drugs. Surgeries. False-positive tests. And then - colic. Health problems. Sleepless....years. And I wouldn't trade them! They are energetic, smart, vibrant. They love each other - secretly. They love other kids - openly. They are open to where God leads them. Beautiful!

My son wouldn't play football to save his life. But we are the ultimate soccer family! You will find us at every game, tournmanet, spaghetti dinner and club meeting. David has coached and I have had to learn a new sport. Soccer is not as social as football - this game you have to watch! So I took up sports photography and then I stay more focused.

And public school!?! We left that two years ago. As I write this, my kids are working on lessons on the computer. Yes, the computer is their teacher. I am truly the facilitator. Someone has to be in charge. I'm it! The teacher and superintendent of Vista Academy. David is the principal and school board. There's no PTA meetings. Of which I am thankful! I learned after 5 years in public school how much I hated them!

The music is there - and we did the public school band thing too. It was fun. Now, we listen to drums and guitars at home. Chris plays. Ashley loves to sing. She is also the artist. Always drawing or painting. Creating. I love their creativity.

Church is been different too. We've attended different denominations and churches as small as 40 and as large as 1000+. We've served. We've sat on the pew. We've hid in the crowd and been very visible. Different seasons of life allow for different levels of participation.

But we've always served as a family. Served God. Loved God. Prayed together.

So, this is our life. Not how I dreamed - but so much better!

Are you living a different life than what you dreamed? Maybe you're mad at God because, well, His plan just didn't live up to what you wanted. Stop. Look around you. Take inventory of your blessings.

Maybe your discontentment is because you are so wrapped up in your own life you are not giving others. Self-centeredness leads to depression and discontenment. Get over yourself. Get out of yourself!

When I write about This Life, I leave out alot. That's editting. Bad things. But in the grand scheme; in light of eternity, the bad things are so insignificant. They make us - hopefully - stronger. Better people. More compassionate.

This Life is covered by God's Grace and Mercy. New every morning. Never failing.

Rejoice! This Life is blessed by God!

Getting to Know God

2011-05-05T09:46:00.000-07:00

March 1, 2011. An easy date to remember. Up early. Drove with a friend and her daughter and my Ashley to Denver. Lunch in Monument. Kohl's. Doctor's appointment. Cast. Dinner with friends. Back to the Hotel.

The hotel. That's when I started feeling yucky. Like a bad cold coming on.

Up early the next day for the Baby's appointments. Yeah for GPS! Not lost once! Then back to Children's for the CP clinic - not planned but a good thing. Listen. Wait. Talk. Listen. Wait. Exhausted. Drove to a bookstore. Saw friends. Dinner at Qdoba. Ice cream at Cold Stone. Back to the Hotel. So tired!

Drive home. Cough. Sniff.

Next day. Worse.

Flu, I thought.

Nope. RSV. Respiratory syncytial virus. Bad news for me.

May 1st, started coughing again. Yucky stuff.

God and I have been doing some serious talking. I've got things to do! I've spent too much time down! My kids need me. My friends and I have plans. I have two classes at church to organize. My husband would like to see me awake in the evenings and not passed out from exhaustion, medications - or both!

A friend just asked me, "What has God been saying?"

"Shhh. Peace. Be still. Know me. Knowing me is more important than anything!"

I am seeing that without illness, as frightening and inconvenient as it may be, I would never know God as my healer. Without need, I would never know him as my provider. Without trials I would never know his great mercy. I would not lean on him. I would be sufficient in myself.

And I am far from self-sufficient!

I need Him. For each breath. For each movement. For each day.

I want Him. Beside me. Around me. Surrounding me. Holding me.

I will trust Him. He has no plans to harm me. Only to draw me closer to His side.

What is God saying to you? Are you listening?

For the Orphan

2011-04-26T15:09:00.000-07:00

This post has been a long-time coming. Some things I have to mull over. Since moving to Colorado, I have been challenged on so many fronts. God has grown me and stretched me and keeps throwing me on that Potter's Wheel to learn. He loves me so much. So he challenges me!

For example, what does a Christian look like? The guy with dredlocks serving me coffee also attends church and loves God passionately! His hippy-dippy looks would have made me cross the street 7 years ago, now I want to invite him to dinner!

And what does worship look like? Seven years ago I would have scoffed at the worship dancer. On Friday night, I wanted to join her! However, in platform heels I probably would have broken my foot so I just danced on the inside.

And massive families! Wow! I know two large families and I'm so privileged to love both of them! God uses each child so miracuously!

Disclaimer: I love my family of four, too. God knows just what we need.

Our family has been supportive of adoptions. If it weren't for one very brave birth mom, I wouldn't have had my best friend and cousin, Angie. My daughter wouldn't have her bestest buddy. And I wouldn't be blessed with my younger friend either. My step-sister was a brave birth mom who gave two children life and a family. They are heroes turning potential tragedy into celebration!

Note: Do you know a mom who gave up a child to adoption? Send her a Mother's Day Card thanking her for giving life! Know a mom who lost a child to an early death or miscarriage? Send her a Mother's Day Card - the pain does not go away. Know a mom who gave a child to abortion? Send her a Card letting her know God loves her! She may be carrying a deep hurt too.

But I'd never really thought much about the orphan. The abandoned, have-no-one-to-hold-me, all alone in the world Orphan.

Then came Colorado.  And our pastors whose hearts beats and bleeds for them. They are very open with their passion for the orphan.

Not that I was raised completely ignorant of the need of orphans or of Missions. Quite the contrary. We've always supported the Assemblies of God Hillcrest Children's Home and Highlands Maternity Home. I grew up with people like Benny Tipton and Bwana Tembo in my home. The Assemblies of God Missions department is vast and organized and, frankly, they know what they are doing! I studied French in high school and college with the dream of going to Africa with the Wakefields. I never made it. Maybe....

But my direct impact on the orphans of the world was not utmost in my mind. Or my heart.

Then I met the Saunders. More specifically, I met @Isaiah. Then I was there the day @Elijah and @Elizabeth came home. I prayed for @Jubilee. And now she is home. These little people got in my heart!  And then their older siblings @autumn and @jubilee - became best buddies and friends. And I've met @ty. All special kids.

Honestly, I've struggled with my role for the Orphan.  What would God have me do? Adopt? Ignore?

Our family has also taken in College Orphans - kids attending school in Durango, striving to serve God and missing mom and dad. Through Master Plan Ministries we have met some great kids. Some needed a place to life. Others a place to eat. Some just to do laundry.

We've met Christian Orphans - those whose families have rejected them because they chose Christ. We've met Locational Orphans - those who just need a Durango Family. We've met some who have lost a mom or dad; who have estranged relationships. ~ Yup, we found or Orphans.

And I've learned that my caring for Widows and Orphans is sometimes just supporting those families. Like the little guys mentioned above. When their mommy went to get them and bring them home, I've been honored to have the other siblings over for cookie day.

Recenlty their mommy was in @ugand@ to serve. So - Here they came! (keep reading after pictures)

(I'm the white one in the middle)

My Helper!

Always wants chocolate chip cookies!

Quiet but busy, busy!

She makes my heart happy!

The Big Girls! They've moved from the kitchen to

playin in the bedroom now.

Yummy!!!

I've found my role. I'm Family Support Personal!

Can you imagine how much these families need our support? They are bringing home kids who need clothes and hats and mittens! They need meals and phone calls of encouragement. Some of these kids have special needs - babysit!

And it's expensive! Donate to Garage sales and then - shop! Buy at bake sales! Is the cost of $50 for a cupcake too much to see a child safe and warm? And knowing Jesus!?!

Though God has not given me the passion for adoption that he has given others, he has given me a passion for families! And I have a passion for seeing the God-sized dreams of otheres fulfilled!

What's your passion?

How about widows? There are literal widows and widowers who need you! There are Christian widows and widowers - those who serve God without a spouse - they need you!

There's so much to do in this life! So many who need you! No matter your age!

Get up!

Get going!

If nothing else -

Bake some cookies!!

Easter 2011

2011-04-25T16:24:00.000-07:00

Easter Sunday 2011

I love Easter!

We celebrate with friends and Family of Choice world-wide the resurrection

of our Lord Jesus Christ!

We are reminded of His great love for us.

And we share that love with each other.

David Christopher

My Kids

Ashley Ruth

With their Dad

Me and my Sweetie!

(Prednisone for 8 weeks has not been kind to my face!)

Larry and Marilyn

Kayle

(Chris had taken a trip home)

Favorite Easter Hymn

2011-04-22T13:38:00.000-07:00

He Lives!

I serve a risen Savior, He's in the world today;

I know that He is living whatever men may say;

I see His hand of mercy; I hear His voice of cheer,

And just the time I need him, he's always near.

He lives, He lives, Christ Jesus lives today!

He walks with me and talks with me

Along life's narrow way.

He lives, he lives, salvation to impart!

You ask my how I know He lives?

He lives within my heart.

Rejoice, rejoice, O Christian,

Lift up your voice and sing.

Eternal hallelujahs to Jesus Christ the king!

The hope of all who seek him,

The help of all who find,

None other is so loving, so good and kind.

The Dirty Little Devil

2011-04-19T09:23:00.000-07:00

Here it is!

The evil little culprit!

The reason we can't breathe!

The reason our eyes are itchy and nose is running!

Death to All Juniper Trees!

What's It All About?

2011-04-14T11:32:00.000-07:00

What's this life all about?

Have you ever wondered that? Really? Why do we get up, get dressed, go to work, feed kids, come home, clean, fall in bed and do it all over again the next day?

People have been addressing this question for years. Rick Warren did in in The Purpose Drive Life. David pondered it in the Psalms. Ecclesiates shouts it. And each human being reaches a point where they say, "chuck it all! I'm going fishing!"

But who truly answers the question?

God the Father

Our current Church-wide Book read is Radical by David Platt. It makes you pause. Reassess. Question. All the traits of good writing.

But it's really pretty simple.

God the Son.

It's about His glory. Not necessarily our comfort. Honestly, this book flies in the face of many of the things I have learned through the years. Teaching on weath, prosperity, healing. Honestly, some things I will hold on to and some things I will let go. Some things just aren't important to me anymore. Maturity I guess.

God the Holy Spirit.

It's about His gifts. Our comforter. Give by the Father, Promised by the Son.

Prayer

What if we started with one Radical change in our life? Just one. A simple one. How we pray.

My David once pointed out that many of our prayers are because life has become inconvenient and we are uncomfortble. The headache. The bill from where we overspent on a car or house or clothes or food.

"Lord take his cup that I charged and filled with debt from me!"

Glory

It was around 4am this morning that I was contemplating prayer. And requests. And healing. And health.

Around the 1st of March, one of my Little Friends at church share their viral infection with me. Possibly RSV. The result - can't breathe! Two emergency room visits. Two primary care doctors. Two specialists. Countless prescriptions. Inhalers. Massive steroids. Muscle cramps. Sleeplessness. Wheezy. Coughing. Can't be outside.

My lungs are weak. I gasp for air in the middle of the nigh sometime. Sometimes, the couch is my bed.

The doctor told me to take a week off from teaching my Little Friends.

I've been annointed, prayed for, prayed over, prayed at.

He gives me Grace for each breathe.

Then Chris started coughing. No. Not him. Asthmatic. Soccer Player.

For Your Glory

"Father," I prayed, "heal my son. Not for his comfort alone, but for Your glory. That Chris may use his talents -atheltic and musical - for your Kingdom. That he lift You up! That you draw all men to your side!"

Wait. That prayer was not about Chris! It was about God! It was seeing that these light afflictions of our life can be used to glorify God!

Radical

One change. One prayer. One step. By step.

Father God, you saved me for your glory. You redeemed me for your glory. You have kept me, healed me "and loved me for your glory! To you be all praise and honor! Amen!"

Wordless Wednesday

2011-04-06T13:26:00.000-07:00

Radical - Thoughts BEFORE Reading the Book

2011-04-04T14:00:00.000-07:00

Our church is beginning to read Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream by David Platt.  We've done several books as a congregation and they are always so intersting to see different people's reactions and understanding.

But the title struck me. It has given me lots of food for thought. Mulling it around so to speak.

The American Dream
         Baseball, Hot Dogs, Apple Pie, Fourth of July

First, we need a definition to work with, so to the Internet:

"Definitions of american dream on the Web:

•the widespread aspiration of Americans to live better than their parents did
                   wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

•The American Dream is a national ethos of the United States of America in which democratic ideals are perceived as a promise of prosperity for its people. ...
                   en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Dream"

Find more definitions here.

Two words: Aspiration and Prosperity jump out at me. What about you? Was it to do better than your parents? Or were you more bent towards the democratic ideals?

What is my American Dream?

To many, we live a life that they only dream of - our own home, two cars and a third for fun; two kids, one dog and an RV. We like to camp, 4-wheel and watch movies.

But those who know us, know those things have come at a price. Long hours of work. Sacrifice. And a butt-load of medical bills we've decided we will always have so we may just as well learn to live with them and embrace them as our own secret cross.

What are we living our Dream? Does our dream align with God's dream for us?

I always dreamed of having 4 children. I've given birth to two and God sent me two wonderful college kids - Chris and Kayle - to adopt. But it didn't stop there. The relationship with Chris and Kayle brought Hedy and Leah. And Nate and Erin. And then their kids - Eliana and Kara. And Hedy brought Mark and now Leah brought Malcolm. And Mark and Hedy are having a baby! God expanded my dream.

Now back to my own two kids. What a miracle! Man said we'd never have children. God said, "Ha!"   Chris is handsome and happy and has an understanding heart for God. Ashley is a survivor! She's beautiful and courageous and her heart bends to the broken. They are more than I dreamed of in children.

In both scenarios, neither dream took place the way I had well, dreamed. Or planned.

Years of fertility drugs and surgeries. Then a pregnancy. My son has battled allergies and asthma since an infant. He was born with intestional issues that, shall we say, challenged us all. He didn't believe in sleep until he was 2 years old and his nasty, diseased adenoids and tonsils were removed.

My 2nd pregnancy was tough. Heart palpitations. Hemorrage after she was born. Then at 6 months old, the unthinkable. Our daughter survived a stroke. Now she has cerebral palsy. Surgery is a normal word in her vocabulary as are Medications and Doctors. She struggles understanding nuance and sarcasm. Some days her body just plain hurts.

Not in the plan. Not in my dream. Not in anyone's dream!

I'm reminded now of Joseph. He was a dreamer. Dreamed of ruling. His dream didn't included being beaten to near death by his jealous brothers, sold into slavery and spending years in a dungeon. Would Joseph tell us today that the journey was worth the reward? Worth the pain? The years away from family?

We all want the end of the dream. Not the beginning birth pains; not the middle struggle - just the reward.

I can't wait to see what God reveals to me in this book. Where is he taking me? Where is taking our family? Where is He taking our church? Where is He taking our ministry, our children, our marriage?

Honestly, I'm a little scared to. I'm comfortable. A little. Not too much. I want more than what we have now in terms of relationship with Christ.

How Radical to think - He wants more of me too!

For Surgeon's Eyes - But You Can Look

2011-03-30T09:55:00.000-07:00

So this is a weird post. I need to have the pictures of Ashley's hand available for the surgeons in Denver. The easiest way is to post to my blog, then they can review, study and print them if they wish.

Enjoy!

To Docs: Dr. Jennifer Forest removed the cast at 11:00 am on Tuesday, March 29. Ashley had been cast for 29 days. After removal of the cast, her hand and forearm went into spasms. Dr. F used compression to stop spasm. A splint is being used to wean her from the support.

At 24 hours after removing cast, Ashley reporsts that she feels she has more use of hand. She can flex fingers. I have noticed her using the hand more as well.

Hand Open

Can touch fingers to thumb

Fingers Open except pinky which continued to tuck. She had lots of pain in the joints of the pinky while in the cast. Post-surgery might need to cast hand further around fingers to prevent curling. She has callouses on inside thumb joints where her fingers would curl and rub on the cast itself.

Cast off - 1 minute

Fingers curl up instead of down

Cast off 9 hours.

Fisting. Could open.

Touching fingers

Sitting

2011-03-28T10:08:00.000-07:00

There have been times in my life of forced stillness. I'm not really good with those. But God always speaks so powerfully to me during those times.

After surgery.

Before the birth of a child.

Sitting in a Hospital Emergency Room.

Waiting in traffic.

Just breathing.

Today is forced stillness. For my body. My mind is working - always. But I'm practicing quietening it to the pace my body needs today.

And listening.

What is He saying today?

The Church That Built Me

2011-03-22T13:06:00.000-07:00

A current popular song tells of a girl returning to her childhood home asking the owner if she can come in and see the house where she grew up. She tells of hand prints in cement and back bedrooms where she learned to play music and how her daddy built the house of her momma's dreams. She sings of the "House that Built Me."

In December, I was blessed to return to Big Spring, Texas - where I grew up. We were moving our friends there - okay, that's sad - but in doing so, I was able to return to the church that built me.

The church where I first met Jesus.

The church where I first felt the Holy Spirit draw me to his side.

The church where I was baptized.

It is now the Spanish Assembly of God in town. Luckily, the ladies of the church where there organizing a banquet for the next day and they allowed me to walk through with Marilyn, Chris and Ashley.

The auditorium

Front Row, Organ Side

I often stacked hymnals to make Barbie an apartment during long Sunday night services.

This is the place I gave my heart to Jesus.

It's also the place where I first received the gift of tongues.

The shelf my dad had built on the pulpit to hold the microphone stand and annointing oil are still there. There was once a sign he taped to where he could read every service:

"Give These People Jesus"

My Kids in My Church.

Outside Sign

I've played hours of hide-and-seek around that sign!

I also spent hours "flying" a spaceship - most people called it the air conditioner compressor. I knew that we blew the compressor at least once by flipping the switch off and on as we flew on missions around the earth.

My House.

My daddy planted the all the trees.

See the scratches on this pew. Ever think of all the hands and baby teeth that were cut on those

pews. A heritage.

The Brown's

2011-03-16T08:48:00.000-07:00

God has a purpose for every encounter. For every person you meet.

When I worked at the school district, the building hired a night janitorial person. She came in the afternoon and we often visited in the lounge. She was great to help me on special projects and events - and she had a great laugh!

This week, we reconnected thanks to an article in the paper on her son.

Not really the connections you want to make - based upon mutual pain - but still God-ordained.

Read their story:

http://jadensstory.blogspot.com/

Dangers of the Electronic Age

2011-03-07T14:22:00.000-08:00

I've been mulling this over for a few days...

Several years ago, I was in Lousiville, KY for a family literacy conference. For the pre-conference workshops, we were privileged to choose from some highly intelligent speakers on interesting topics that would have been better presented to me somewhere after 10 am - not at 7:30 for a breakfast meeting! No, I'm not a morning person.

My friend and I chose a Media Literacy workshop by Dr. Peter D. He was incredible. I was on the edge of my seat. This unassuming man from Santa Fe brought to my attention things that were on the outskirts of my consciousness - I knew advertising was manipulative, but knowing that the company who owned the television station also owned the products they were advertising was so new to me. He challenged my friend and I so much that we developed and presented our own Media Literacy workshops in Durango Public Schools. This training is needed for everyone parent - everything is a commercial! everything is marketing research!

Having had my eyes opened, I see the media through skeptical eyes. And currently, these skeptical eyes are looking a Facebook, Twitter and blogs through an analytical lense.

Researchers know that what makes texting so popular is that it makes us feel connected without making any commitement. We can speak without consequences. If someone "misunderstands" us, it's not our fault, it's the limits of conveying emotions in text. If feelings are hurt, oops! And on the opposite end, we have learned to read texts without emotions. No emotions, no commitement.

Now we have facebook with millions of "friends". Okay, hundreds. But "friends"? Really? People who were rude to us in high school, suddenly send a friend request. Family members who never pick up the phone to call are suddenly interested in "What's On Your Mind?" No. Not really.

It's status. To have an account. To gather a high friend count.

But to the narcissist - this is nirvana!

Narcissism is defined as the excessive love of one's self. A narcissist posts things to be liked. To get comments. To gain approval.

Without commitment. Without consequences. Without relationships.

The same is true on Twitter - assuming that everyone wants to know what you are doing, what you are saying, where you are going.

How about bloggers? Yes, I realize I'm a blogger. But you're reading me! So you've probably read blogs that start off with a title about, say, Sunshine, and end on how creative this person was to take Sunshine and make a pot of tea and 12 tasty scones for a snack for 40 hungry children living in poverty on the outskirts of Bulgaria (a little hyperbole!). Their purpose was never to write about sunshine but for you to see how wonderful and creative they are as human beings.

All three mediums are perfect for the passive aggresive personality, too. They can say what they want and have no face:face consequences.

All this to say, God has dealt with me on -

Say what you mean, Mean what you say.

We should require all Middle School students and parents to take a class on media etiquette. Remind each other that the internet, FB and Twitter are forever! People judge you by your words - especially in print. They can be read over and over; their meanings questioned.

I have a friend who uses media so wisely - it's an evangelism tool! His posts and blogs point people to Christ. There's never a question of motive or meaning behind what he writes - only Jesus. Check him out at: http://www.eternityimpact.blogspot.com/

Another friend regularly takes Media Breaks. No FB, no Twitter, no blogs. He focuses on maintaining face:face contact and building relationships.

Maybe this a little extreme. Okay, I think it might be for me. But I do want to be careful of what I write and why I write it.

To use my words for good and not evil.

To look for people.

To speak truth.

To stand for the right.

To be a voice of the voiceless.

And always, always point people to the cross.

Daddy Daughter Dance 2011

2011-02-26T13:12:00.000-08:00

David and His Daughter

"Never Grow Up"

Daddy Daughter Dance 2011

My Favorite Couple

They are so handsome

First they ate dinner at Christina's, then attended the dance and

ended the evening with dessert at Baskin Robins.

My Gorgeous Gal

When I look at this picture, I see the quiet strength that my daughter possess shining through in film. She constantly amazes at me how she faces life. She is rarely daunted. And even if

overwhelmed, she handles it gracefully.

Yes, flowers - pale pink and ivory roses.

Because I was responsible for the drama presentations during the dance, I was able

to attend and watch my favorite couple. I couldn't resist a picture with my princess!

The Enchanted Forest

The artistic minds in our church are amazing!

Three Happy Dads

Jerome, David and Mark

Lotsa dads in pink last night!

Mark and Kate

Kate gave me the idea of my email as a Chaplain-

Miss Kim

Now, what event can we plan for moms and sons?

Rivertrip and Cook out?

Race Day 2011

2011-02-19T18:24:00.000-08:00

Our Winner!

Division 6, Third Place

Dad and His Girl

Chris and Sis

She's the white blur in the middle!

I was just sick today - such an important day, had my new camera with me, ready to go.

Except the battery was dead and I didn't have a media card!

Ray, our good friend, brought us his two canon batteries and a card.

Card worked, batteries didn't! What a great guy to try!

I am so proud of Ashley doing this.

It wasn't necessarily her comfort zone.

But she did it anyway!

Sucessfully!

I love you, Ashley Ruth Wilson Beach

You challenge me each day to be a better person.

A better mom.

A better friend

You are an Amazing Woman of God!

The Miracle in Your Hand

2011-02-15T08:55:00.000-08:00

This past week, Pastor Dwight spoke on The Miracle in Your Hand. You can follow the links to listen at:
http://www.iriverchurch.com/#/media. It was good stuff.

We all have something in our hand. For the sermon illustration, it was the little boy who had a small lunch for fish and bread. For some, it's a hammer - you can build, rebuild, repair. Maybe you have a spatula - you can cook for those who are physically hungry and spiritually hungry.

This week, as I've thought over the sermon, it came to me that we have two hands. If a Miracle is in our Hand, what's in the other hand? Is it a tool to complete the miracle? or is it the one thing that will defeat God's work in our life?

In one hand you may hold the tool to change someone's life forever! Compassion for the hurting. Food for the hungry. Friendship for the lonely.

In the other hand, you grip tightly to that which keeps you from using God's gift - desire to be uninvolved. Feeling of inadequacy. Fear of intimacy.

Our church has a ministry for feeding those after a surgery, sickness, tragedy, birth of a child. It's wonderful! The ladies who take care of this are very organized and have computerized it making it so effecient. Our family has been the recipient of this gift several times. And I've provided meals, too. But I never feel good enough! I'm a good cook - no one leaves my table hungry. I've cooked for two college retreats - leftovers were few. But when it comes to cooking food to take to someone else's home, I feel like a reject from "Worse Cooks in America" being asked to guest host "The Martha Stewart Show!"

Today, I see this as a tool of the enemy. I feel inadequate, I'm paralyzed from action.

Maybe in your hand is a secret that no one knows. Not your best friend. Not your worse enemy. Just you and God. It's heavy. It's a noose around your neck. It binds your hands together so you cannot work. It totally incapacitates you. It's the leverage the enemy has against you and it is keeping you from moving forward in God's kingdom! Share it! Bring it in the open! If it's not a secret, the enemy cannot use it against you! There is freedom!

I feel more on this subject coming. This is a start. Ask yourself, "What's in my other hand to prevent a miracle from happening?"

A Valentine's Day Story

2011-02-14T08:12:00.000-08:00

Twenty-three years ago today was my first Valentine's Day with David. I had no way of seeing how many years together we had in front of us. We were newly dating. And flirting - the trombone section was directly across from me and I would move my chair so I could see him. While playing, he would wink at my across the rehearsal room and my heart would melt. It still does.

During band rehearsal that Valentine's Day a dear friend become very sick. We spent the afternoon and evening in the emergency room with her. So no fancy dinner or flowers, etc.

The next day, David brought me flowers and a card. With my name spelled wrong! Kimberl - E - y.

Okay, he was being romantic and using my full name.

After that, he started putting Kimmie on my cards. I love that!

Here we are, 23 years later, with dinner reservations for tonight at a favorite restuarnat. Leaving the kids at home with pizza. Getting dressed up! whoo hooo!

We've come along way, Davey. And I love you even more today!

Ashley Ruth - In the Pool

2011-02-11T14:56:00.000-08:00

This is my girl. My pressed-down, shaken-together, running over blessing from God. Her smile lights up a room. Her laughter brings joy to any situation.

She is not a quitter. She keeps going.

Pain does not stop her.

Bad news doesn't bring her down.

She loves children. She wants to do an internship with our Children's Pastor - she can see herself ministering to kids for a lifetime.

Yes, I'm in love with my daughter. She is precious.

Words of Life

2011-02-09T13:09:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, the word of God says it all. Well, actually, it usually says it all, if we just lisen! They are the words of life. They bring nourishment to my soul!

"He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Isreal will not slumber nor sleep!" Ps 121:3,4

"On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help,

I sing in the shadow of your wings!"

Ps 3:6,7

"The Lord is my elper; I will not be afraid.

What can man do to me? Heb 13:5

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Isa. 41:1

Isaiah 41:9 (New Living Translation)

"I have called you back from the ends of the earth,

saying, ‘You are my servant.’

For I have chosen you

and will not throw you away."

Is 41:9

Super Bowl Sunday & Friends

2011-02-07T13:31:00.000-08:00

We were ready for some football!

The boys of the couch!

Miss Madison

Master Reese - a new generation of fans!

The girls table

My Beautiful friend Tiffany. She is the Virtuous woman.

Loves all deeply. Cares constantly. Shares

selflessly. I love this friend!

My Chris!Josie wins the prize! Busiest Football Fan of the Year!

A Dream Fulfilled

2011-02-01T09:52:00.000-08:00

January 27, 1999 - our baby daughter had a stroke leaving her with left-hemiplegic myclonic/dystonic cerebral palsy. That day changed our life.

But God was not suprised. He was still in control.

Two years later, after walking through grief and pain, God birthed in my heart the desire to be a Pediatric Chaplain.

Ten years later, I did it! I put it off. Scared. What if they didn't accept me?
What would I do with the Chaplaincy?

I worked on the papers. Put it away. Decided to wait. And honestly,

everytime I started to work on it again, my own child became ill or

needed another surgery or a medication change. Maybe, I thought, this was a bad idea!

Then last month, our Pastor's wife spoke. To boil it down, she said, "Do Something!" There are som any needs to be met, so many souls to be snatched from despair, so many that need a home, a friend, a glimpse of hope - get up and do something.

I remembered my application papers. Nicely completed. Waiting for a final read. Ready to be sent. Waiting for months. I had two reference letters. I had all the paperwork done. Now, do something!

I mailed the application. Waited and prayed, "Lord, do what you will."
Yesterday afternoon was a trying day. On the phone and on hold for hours
trying to get doctors appointments and make travel arrangements (okay,
we need a mirale here). I wrote on my FB status - I give up. Going to
my bubble bath.

Even that was, pardon the pun, a wash. My daughter beat me to the shower
and had drained every last ounce of hot water from the tank. I waited. Still
no water. Gave up after 20 minutes and took a cold shower. Ick! It's 19
degrees outside!

Bundled up in my robe, I fixed dinner for my family. David worked late last night - his new job is a blessing but setting up a new department in a new company with new people is alot of work (he needs supernatural energy!). When David came in he brought the mail. And a large white envelope. "Your Chaplaincy," he said.

I was so anxious. I really expected them to require at least 2 college-level courses from me. Inside was a beautiful black folder and in that folder a letter welcoming me to Chaplain Fellowship Ministires! There was an ordination, license, membership and chaplaincy certificate as well as a shiny membership card.

Wow! I cried. A dream fulfilled.

Now, the million dollar question: what are you doing to do with this? I have no earthly idea. But God has a heavenly one! He said to do it. When he says, "Go!" I'll do that too. Working with the families and babies at church right now is so fulfilling. I'll do that as long as he says to.

This is my miracle. That God can take an ordinary mom of two; who talks too much and spends more time apologizing than breathing; who loves people but hates messes; with an autoimmune disease that leaves her tired and achy; who teaches her children at home; but who loves God - and take her from the waiting room of a hospital as an uncertain mom to the waiting room where other people need help and redeem her own pain.

What am amazing God!

Durango Adaptive Sports Association

2011-01-31T15:38:00.000-08:00

There are few groups in the world that just make life better. They improve the quality of our life for many people. Their employees exude energy and love. Their volunteers make everyone feel special.

That's the Durango Adaptive Sports Association.

Bucket for skiers. Quadraplegia, hemiplegia, autoimmune disorders, rhuematoid arthritis - nothing will keep a willing person off the mountain!

Miss Ashley preparing to hit the slopes.

The Dave Spencer Adaptive Sports Association Building at Durango Mountain Resort, Purgatory Mountain.

The Face of a Winner!

Did I mention the scenery is beautiful?

Lots of equipment waiting to be used!

Let Me Be Brave!

Not Much

2011-01-28T09:58:00.000-08:00

I would say "not much is going on" but every mom knows that really means "so much is happening I can't put it down on paper!"

My random musing for the day: I want Shaun White's hair! It's gorgeous (watch the X-games!)

Ski Pictures

2011-01-26T09:19:00.000-08:00

A Great Day on the Slope

Here she comes - Miss Ashley!

Ashley and her Instructors

Chris

The best thing - Ashley and Chris were able to ski together. A goal she has long-held.

Crazy

2011-01-25T19:58:00.000-08:00

Seems like we can go for weeks and months and not "deal" with health stuff.

Then, BAM!

Side effects from Medications. Call to doctors. Call to nurses. Change of medicatios. Off drugs. On to a new drug. New side effects? Wait and see.

Web searches. Emails. CHASA.org. Questions. Few answers. Lotsa prayers. Call doctors. Call nurses. Wait some more.

A day in our life.

Guest Writer - Ashley Ruth

2011-01-14T10:31:00.000-08:00

Today, I thought I'd share Ashley's essay on the Names of God.

Alpha and Omega

There are many names used in the Bible to describe Jesus. He is called Healer, Deliverer, Provider and Comforter. These names tell us his characteristics. My favorite name for Jesus is Alpha and Omega.

The name Alpha and Omega tells me that Jesus knows my beginning from my end. When I was a baby I had a stroke and I was changed forever. My body was changed. I have one leg that works and one leg that doesn’t work. I have one arm that works and one arm that doesn’t work. The doctors call that left-hemiparetic cerebral palsy. My abilities were changed. I can do anything but I do it slower with adaptations. However, one thing that didn’t change was my future. God had a plan before I was even born. He knows where I am going to be, who I’m going to be and how I will get there. God has been teaching me to trust in him because is Alpha and Omega.

In the Bible, Revelations 1:8 it says, “I am the Alpha and the Omega says the Lord God, who is and who was and who is to come.” My God will always be there for me. I can trust him.

Guest Writer - Chris

2011-01-13T08:13:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time at Vista Academy, I dreamed of sending quarterly newsletters to update family on our activities. Then reality happened. So today, I post something Chris wrote for school instead. Enjoy!

The Names of God

There are many names for God. The one that means the most to me is, Deliverer. To deliver means, “To bring or to transport to the right place.” God is the deliverer. He delivers us from evil and sin.

To me this means that no matter how hard the circumstance is God will get you through. For example, when I was twelve I became very sick and the doctors didn’t know what was wrong, but God got me through that tough time. Many people were praying for me and as they prayed, I felt God give me strength.

God will deliver you to your destination, just as he delivered the children of Israel. The children of Israel wondered the dessert for 40, but God got them where they needed to go.

He will get you where you need to be on time. Just like the time Lazarus died and God raised him from the dead. Many said that he wasn’t on time because if he had come earlier then he could have healed him. Instead he was able to show that he is God and he is never late, and to show that when he died he would raise himself from the dead just as he did Lazarus.

You must trust in God, and not fight the path he has chosen for you, because he knows what is best for you. God is the world’s deliverer, he is my deliverer.

24 Hours

2011-01-12T10:27:00.001-08:00

It's amazing how quickly things can change.

Yesterday, it was so quiet because everyone was sick and sleeping.

Today, there's music playing while Ashley does Art. The drums are rolling as Chris
practices. Pictures are literally bouncing on the wall.

Laughter has come again.

Thank you Lord for answering prayer and healing my kids!

Song for Today

2011-01-11T08:56:00.000-08:00

You Are Still Holy

Kim Hill

Holy, You are still holy

Even when the darkness surrounds my life

Sovereign, You are still sovereign

Even when confusion has blinded my eyes

Lord, I don't deserve Your kind affection

When my unbelief has kept me from Your touch

I want my life to be a pure reflection

Of Your love

And so I come into Your chamber

And I dance at Your feet, Lord

You are my Saviour

And I'm at Your mercy

All that has been in my life

Up 'til now

It belongs to You

You are still holy

Holy, You are still holy

Even though I don't understand Your ways

Sovereign, You will be sovereign

Even when my circumstances don't change

Lord, I don't deserve your tender patience

When my unbelief has kept me from Your truth

I want my life to be a sweet devotion

To You

And so I come into Your chamber

And I dance at Your feet, Lord

You are my Saviour

And I'm at Your mercy

All that has been in my life

Up 'til now

It belongs to You

I belong to You

And so I come into Your chamber

And I dance at Your feet

You are my Saviour

And I'm at Your mercy

You are still holy

You are still sovereign

You are still holy, Lord

You are still righteous

You are all-knowing

You are still holy

Sunday Afternoon

2011-01-10T08:05:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year. The sitting time. Around me, the noise of hundreds of people shuffeling for food and table is dimmed by the headphone piping music to my ears. I have been lucky to find a table nestled by the fireplace next to a giant window overlooking the ski slope. I watch hundreds more people brave the twenty degree weather in order to speed downslippery slopes and stop just feet from my perch and smile.

Part of me would love to be out there. I hate being left out. I hate failing - and my one try at skiing would definitely fall in that column. I would love to see the stop of the mountain covered in snow and ski with my kids and watch them experience the beauty of God's creation.

They make it look effortless, my athltic children and husband. A sawy here, a bend there, swoosh and stop. My experience was more of a lean there, pop up, jerk around, fall, tumble and dig myself out of the snow drift.

I've spent alot of my life digging out. Sometimes out o drifts I've made and other times out of avalanches others dumped on me. A few holes have been tunneled out of things that are just life. But I keep digging.

Lately, I've grown tired o myself. I am too intraspective. Too reasoned. Often searching for too much meaning in too little events. I thought for the longest time it was just me - I must have a defective gene that searches for deeper meaning in the mundane. Then I read the obituary of my dearest English professor. The writer sketched a picture of the artistic mind. The mind always looking for beauty in the ugly; for right in the wrong; for reason in the horrible. A mind that believes that life should not be wasted and therefore searches desperately for meaning in all that is said, done, lived - every breath.

I'm normal! I'm just an artistic mind and without an outlet, I am focused inward and try to order my artistic, chaotic yet brilliant mind. Brilliant, you may ask? Is that too bold? No! Brilliant - multi-faceted, shining from different angles. The most powerful evidence of a Creator! Only intelligent design can produce something that has so many sides and positions; irregularities and planes.

I will let this mind be more creative. I will be more fun, enjoying the moment and not just the end creation. Joy in the journey! Celebration in the creativity!

Today!

And, I think I'm going to give skiing another try!

Things You Don't Want to Hear

2011-01-08T11:13:00.000-08:00

Some dear friends have just heard words put in a diagnosis to their child that no parent should hear: Cerebral Palsy.

But what did God hear?

Nothing that suprised Him. Nothing that alarmed Him. He was not scared or shaken.

I've grown to hate those two words for many reasons - it's an umbrella diagnosis where doctors dump what they can't explain; it sounds like a death sentence; it carries a huge stigma; they are not pretty words like Lilac or Persephone.

Lord, change my heart that when I hear "CP" I see angels rejoicing and butterflies flying and choirs singing. Let "CP" mean "God's Chosen" to me.

Why We Learn

2011-01-03T10:23:00.000-08:00

It is my personal conviction that all instruction and discipline can and should be taken back to the Word of God. At the beginning of the school year, I was again faced with the question every educator and parent dreads:

Why do we need to learn this?

My first reaction mirrored that of most adults: because I said so! Or what so many teachers must admit too today: because it's on the test! But neither answer sat well in my heart. I began asking God to give me an answer from His word. How would Jesus answer this question? What would God want me to tell my children?

The following was His answer. A few parents have asked me to share this on the web so that they can have it for their kids too.

It is a work in progress and though God-given for my children I hope that it rings true for you as well.

__________________________________________

Answers to the Age-Old Question:

"Why do I need to Know This?

• Why do we go to school? Why learn? Why study at all?

2 Timothy 2:15 ~ "Study to show yourself approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, understanding the Word of God."

Matthew 28:19, 20 ~ "Go into all the world and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."

• Why do we have to learn ________________________ subject?

We study the Word of God so we may know Him.

We study language arts so that we may communicate the Gospel.

We study science so we may defend the Gospel while celebrating the design and intelligence of our Creator.

We study math so we may understand the order of God’s World.

We study history so we may put the Gospel in context of World Events.

We study the arts so we may participate in the beauty of God’s creation.

We study languages so we may share the Good News with all nations.

We study sociology so we know how to best serve our neighbors.

We study archaeology we may understand how ancient civilizations sought God and truth.

We study political science because it is the story of the Human Condition placed under a microscope.

We study the human so we may grasp the divine.

We study because Jesus did - and He is our example. (Luke 2:52)

We study so that we will be approved to one day rule with Christ. (Rev. 5:20)

____________________________

2011 - The Year of Gratefulness

2011-01-02T17:37:00.000-08:00

My Father is leading me this year to teach my family - and learn for myself - the importance of a grateful heart.

I'm starting by facebooking one thing each day that I am thankful for. Not just the easy, obvious things. But the things you have to look deep within and really decide, "yeah, that's a blessing."

They are not always obvious. Sometimes it's hard to be grateful. But I think it is important.

Here's to a New Year! And a New Heart! A Grateful Heart!

Thoughts on the Season

2010-12-30T12:54:00.000-08:00

It's only 5 days past Christmas yet nearly all the trappings of the holiday have disappeared from our home. I love Christmas decorations but I'm usually really ready to take them down and move on after Christmas Day.

Maybe I put them up too soon. Perhaps next year I should put them up later and enjoy them more after the craziness of Christmas Day has passed.

Every year at Christmas there is talk about the decorations and traditions of Christmas and their origins. Santa Claus is banned from households and Christmas carols fill shopping malls. Everywhere there seems to be a class of the Holy and the Profane.

I think of the story of Joseph - beaten by his brothers, sold to slavery, thrown in prison and then exalted to a position to save his family and God's chilren. Joseph wrote:

Genesis 50:20, God's Word Translation (1995)

"Even though you planned evil against me, God planned good to come out of it."

The Christmas holiday season is similar. The evil satan had planned in this world can be seen in many holiday traiditions.

We do not know the date of Christ's birth. It is celebrated at the same time as a traditional pagan holiday. We use Red and Green because of the traditions of this same holiday. We decorate a tree because of the druids worship of nature. Evergreen usage in decorating also comes from the druids.

Yet "God planned good to come out of it." The pagan holiday is redeemed as a time that the entire world acknolwedges Christ's kingdom. The Red speaks of God's blood on the cross. The color Green and the evergreen boughs remind us of his gift of eternal life. The tree we decorate in our homes reminds us of the cross this baby would one day die upon.

We give gifts to each other to remind us of the Greatest Gift ever given us - Eternal life.

Santa Claus perhaps takes the biggest kick from those wishing to keep all things holy in this season. But Saint Nicholas was a real man. A wealthy man who gave his fortune away to help others. A Christian man who sought to spread the love of Christ through out his known world.

We look so hard to make things Holy in our lives that we forget that God himself redeems the evil of this world. He is Holy. He is omnipotent. He is worthy of our praise.

This last day of the year, I will praise my maker. I will take time to be still and remember His life. His love. His death.

Lord, show me your redeeming power. Open my eyes to let me see your mighty hand all around me. There is so much good to come in this world.

Christmas Memories 2010

2010-12-28T08:52:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas

2010

Christmas Eve Service

Our friends, Emma and Elijah

I was honored to sing at the Christmas Eve Service with the Praise Band.

Opening Gifts from Grant - Stop taking my picture!

Christmas Day

2010

Marilyn and Larry Rogers joined us to open gifts. Since they were in the

process of moving and had no tree in their travel trailer, they put

their gifts under ours. We were honored!

Her first Cell Phone - watch out world! She's wired!

The "boys" playing Larry's new wii game.

"Just Dance" with Jill, Mark and Marilyn! We laughed so hard!

Chris added to his tool chest

Kale and Kate watching a movie in

Miss Ashely's room.

Jill and Marilyn watching a movie - right before Marilyn "rested" her eyes.

Christmas Dinner with our Family of Choice

Mark, Jill, Kale, Kate and Jack Palmer, Larry and Marilyn Rogers

David, Kim, Chris and Ashley Beach

What makes us Family of Choice?

We have all made the Choice to follow Christ. It is the blood of our Savior,

shed on Calvary's cross for our sins, that makes us family.

Are you part of our Family of Choice?

Choose today. Choose Christ.

Jack watching a movie.

A perfect end to a perfect day.

The Name

2010-12-21T10:47:00.000-08:00

The kids had a writing assignment today looking at the names of Jesus. They were asked to pick their favorite name and tell me why this name meant something to them.

Well, what's good for the goose is good for the gander!

"There are many names used in the Bible to describe Jesus. These names tell us His characteristics. My favorite name for Jesus is hard to choose.

At different times he has been my Provider. My Healer. He is my Prince of Peace in storms as well as the quiet times of the day. He is the Alpha and Omega - knowing my beginning from my end and planning every day in between.

Today, I read in 1 Corinthinas 10:4 that He is my Rock. I really like that name. Rock. Strong. Stable. From the time of Creation. Unmovable. Sturdy.

He hideth my face in the cleft on the Rock and covers me there with His hand.

The Rock. My Father God."

Why I Believe In Santa Claus

2010-12-16T15:49:00.000-08:00

Even Santa kneels at the manger

Worshiping the Christmas child

Knowing that the baby there

Is the Savior of the World

Even Santa wears the color Red

Praising the Heavenly Father

Seeing that this baby's blood

Will cover the sins of the World

Even Santa trims his coat in White

Seeking the Holy Spirit

The baby's own comforter

Who brings light to the darkness of this World

Even Santa brings a gift to God

Bowing humbly at the Throne

Reminding us of God's gift - His precious Son

A Christmas Gift to Redeem each child in this World

Even Santa kneels at the Manger

The world's noise and bustle he ignores

His own myth pointing to the One

Who redeems us

Who sanctifies us

Who guides us

~ KKWB

Merry Christmas

Yeah, Still Sex

2010-12-14T20:01:00.000-08:00

Tonight was Grooming Night.

I shut myself in the bathroom and did my hair, plucked eyebrows; my nails have been shaped and legs shaved.

Some of you are saying, "yup, her kids are older." But when my kids were babies I still did this. Sometimes it was only a 30 minute slot carved out during nap time. Other times I enlisted their dad. Usually on Thursday nights. I bathed the kids, gave them over to their daddy and headed to the bathroom.

Confession Time: A friend is growing her hair color out. Underneath she has discovered beautiful white locks of hair. We both have an autoimmune disorder. After reading the link between hair color and autoimmune junk, she gave up haircolor. I said I'd do it with her. . .I'm a bad friend. I went and looked into the chemical linked to the diseases and found a haircolor that did not contain that chemical and tonight, I colored my hair. Underneath my color, all I had found was a mousy brown/gray mess. The rich brown is back. Sorry, friend. I'm still saying, "Cut it short!!"

While I was rinsing my hair tonight, I began to think about Queen Esther. Only she wasn't queen yet. She was preparing. For a year! They soaked her in expensive oils. She bathed in scented water. Her hair was conditioned and combed and made like silk.

Now that's a Girl's Night Out!

We can't all do that. That's a bit much. Even for me. But it begs the question: what did I do to prepare for being with my Best Friend today?

Remember those date nights of courtship? We showered, gussied up. Smelled good.

Wanna have sex more? Gussy up again! Take the ten minutes to take a quick shower before bed. Spray on something sweet. Brush your hair til it shines.

Prepare. For your time with your husband. Your sweetheart. Your lover. Your soul mate. Your gift from God.

Crawling into bed clean and sweet tells your mate, "Yes, I've chased kids all day. My job stank. Dinner was a flop. But you are worth the extra time and effort."

Put on clean pj's - it doesn't have to be fancy but look nice.

Go the extra effort. It will be worth it!!!

Sex

2010-12-13T12:24:00.000-08:00

First, this rambling is not a doctoral thesis on the theological ramification of relationships and God's will. It's what I've experienced. It's what God is revealing to me. Like an onion. Layer by layer.

Some things we must always remember:

God created us. Remember that. In all of glory. Our beauty. Our bumps, bruises. Our wide hips, thick lips. Our wave hair. Our skinny thighs. All of us.

God created us for relationship. With parents. With family. With friends. Good ones we celebrate. Bad ones we learn from. Easy ones. Hard ones. Ones that are part of our life for a short season as well as relationships that last for eternity.

God created us for Relationship with Him. We were meant to live in Paradise with Him. We were meant to life forever. He desires to have a relationship with us each moment of each day.

Things got messed up when sin entered the Garden. Relationships were made harder. God had to seek us out while we hid in the bushes. Shame entered the garden. That's what makes sex hard to talk about. Shame.

Somewhere along the line, probably about the time of Sin, we became ashamed of who we were - God's creation. Shame because we as a race disobeyed God.   This continues today - ashamed of our bodies, ashamed of our flaws. But God doesn't see any flaws!

Note: I am not advocating nudity, free love, etc. Modesty in all things. But take a look at how sin changed what we see as good.

Ever see a toddler who has found a forbidden cookie? They don't display it proudly. They go and hide.   Adam and Eve hid from God in the Garden and we have been hiding from God ever since.

Why did God create Marriage? Why did he give us sexual relations?

First, Marriage is a glimpse into our relationship with God. Intimate. Sacred. Pleasing. Safe.

Second, sexual relations are hard-wired into our bodies a physiological need. It reduces stress. It's a relational need - it builds intimacy. It's an emotional need - it reminds us of what relation is important - our relationship with our spouse.

What does God say about sex? Song of Solomon says alot! It's great! It's good! It's relaxing! It's between one woman and one man who are husband and wife! It's part of God's plan!

Sex in marriage fulfills God's promise - the two become one.

Sex outside of marrige brings shame and consequences - disease from multiple partners, unplanned pregnancies, broken relationships from adultry.

Does it require work? You betcha.

But that's another post.

Remember, this is a work in progress God is hammering out in my heart.

The Answer

2010-12-07T09:36:00.001-08:00

Relationships

We serve a relational God.

I'm still pondering. . . .

I'm Thinking. . .

2010-12-06T08:23:00.000-08:00

Why is sexual sin so much more devastating than other sins?

Why is sex before marriage destructive?

Why is sex after marriage weary?

Why are we afraid to talk about sex?

Why are so many of you cringing each time you read the word sex?

Lemonade Gives Me Indigestion

2010-12-03T16:20:00.000-08:00

When blogging, or sharing information in any form, it's always a delicate line to walk knowing how much information and detail to share. Especially when it concerns family - and even more so with your kids. It is important that they be able to trust you - a safe place to share their fears, to whisper their dreams, scream their pain and confide their hopes.

So know that when I share this blog, I have asked Ashley's permission first.

We are in a tough place. Tough as a mom and daughter. Me letting go some. Her finding independence while still needing mom and dad so much. Tough as a pre-teen who wants to look and act and walk and talk like her friends. Tough as a mom who sees her struggle. Tough as a student who hates to take the extra steps to learn. Tough as a teacher who requires those steps. Tough as a human being in pain. Tough as a mom who can't take the pain away.

Yeah, we have our "come to Jesus" moments.

Literally.

We have fought. We have "discussed." And then we have prayed. Prayed alot.

Sometimes there are tears. Sometimes just alot of sighs.

Basically we are left with this decision: Do we let what satan has meant for evil destroy us or do we allow God to turn it to good?

Destruction is easy. We can give up. Sit in our corners. Do nothing.

Good takes work. It's painful. It takes molding and finishing. Scrubbing, polishing, knocking off rough spots.

Recently, one of our little friends had to take a trip to Children's Hospital in Denver. She has suffered for a year with abdominal pain and it was time to seek a specialist. Her greatest fear was having cancer. To her little mind, a children's hospital meant cancer because of a little boy at school who was diagnosed with cancer last year. Ashley was able to sit with her, take her on-line to the hospital's web-site and talk to her about how great the hospital was at helping all sorts of children. Ashley told her how they helped her walk better. How nice the doctor's were. How great the gelato was at the coffee shop. By the end of the evening, our little friend was feeling comfortable, if not a little excited, to go to Denver!

Good from evil.

I guess you are wondering where the title for this post came from. Today while driving into town, Ashley and I discussed writing a book together. A book to guide parents and children through the difficulties of disabilities; through visiting hospitals; through "come to Jesus" meetings. I said we could name it, "Making Lemonade" from the saying, "if life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

But I don't like Lemonade, and I suggested that as a title: "I Don't Like Lemonade." It gives me indigestion.

Just the thought of making lemonade is bad. It means something is cut, squeezed; syrup is added to boiling water to create a syrup then the whole mess is poured over ice. A shock to anyone's system. Not a great perspective. The end product is nice, but getting there is tough!

"Lemonade Gives Me Indigestion" - we both laughed at the thought.

Now a new era of blogging begins. Lemonade with Indigestion. Writings on how we are coping as a family with this adventure called life.

Tonight, all I can say is: Bring me a Diet Coke!!!!!

My Sis-In-Love

2010-11-29T10:50:00.000-08:00

My Sister

Thanksgiving 2009

Thanksgiving 2010

With My Neice - Addyson

"Cupcake"

With our Kids after shopping 12 hours!

My Mom

2010-11-29T10:34:00.000-08:00

My Mom

Loves Jesus

Loves Family

Loves Candles

Loves Decorating

Loves her Miss Periwinkle

Loves Her Christopher

Loves Mexican Food

Loves Christmas

Loves All Holidays

Loves Music

Loves that Chris loves the guitar!

Loves Fashion!

Loves Jewelry!

Loves Purses and Accessories!

Loves Gardening

Loves Outside

Loves Purple

Loves people

Loves God's Word

Loves Jesus

Attention Beach Children

2010-11-16T09:05:00.000-08:00

Attention All Beach Children!

When listening to instruction being given to your sibling, please take note of said lecture. It will apply to you someday.

Help yourself by listening to the instruction given to your sibling and applying it to your own life. Immediately!

Repetition of instruciton causes migrain headaches in parents. Multiple repetition of the same linstruction to the same child can cause aneuryisms of optic nerves in said parents.

When choosing to ignore instruction, please choose wisely. Some instruction, is given too frequenly, may cause parents' heads to spin, projectile vomiting and disturbing voices to come from their throats.

Failure to head instruction in children may cause anger, resentment and tears. It will lead to the correction of lessons and possibly further discipline.

Do not be alarmed if this happens.

Stay calm. Flee to your room. Open your Bible and consult the instruction manual:

Proverbs 8:33

Listen to instruction and be wise;

don't ignore it.

Just saying. . .

2010-11-15T13:20:00.000-08:00

Sometimes there's just too much to say!

I must tell myself ten times a day, "that would be a good blog!" But by the time I can sit down to write, the wonderful, imaginative, clever topic has left my mind altogether.

Not that I"m always clever and witty - but I have my moments.

I can also embarrass my kids pretty good, too!

Take for instance last week in Wal-Mart, a major social hub of Durango, CO - right behind the theatre and the rec center. My children and I had been out all day. Granted they are teen and pre-teen, however long days make them goofy. Beats when they cried for hours!

We had been shopping for our Christmas boxes for Samaritan's Purse plus picking up some odds and ends. On the candy aisle, one was pulling my basket in one direction while the other child (I say that with much love) was pulling it in the opposite. I finally said, "Noooo!! Why me? Whhhhhyyyyy?" as I melted to the floor. Still hanging on to the basket handle I began to push it down the aisle while duck-walking behind it. My giggeling children sprinted down the row away from me.

Suddenly, from the corner of my eye, I see another basket. I slow stand up straight and announce, "it's time to go." Tears were flowing down my cheeks from laughter as I struggled to regain my composure.

I promise there was no one on that aisle when we started this tantrum. But, hey, someone has a great story to tell at family dinner.

No real great lesson here. OH, maybe one.

Go ahead and laugh! Make a fool of yourself! Enjoy each moment.

Notices and Updates

2010-11-12T08:50:00.000-08:00

It is very poor writing to leave my readers with an extended cliff-hanger. So here is the conclusion:

I am Okay! I am better than okay - I am so blessed!

On Tuesday, the kids and I went to Manna Soup Kitchen to serve. There I met BJ. Neat older gentlemen. In a wheelchair for 11 years. Has survived 2 strokes and 3 heart attacks. Helping take care of his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Sounds like he's got it tough, huh?

Know what he kept telling me?

"God is faithful. Put your trust in Him."

God forgive me for putting my eyes so far inward that all I see is my own pain. Forgive me when I look outward and all I see is suffering. Lord, give me eyes to see your mercy and grace. You are always Faithful."

Just Give Out

2010-11-08T13:15:00.000-08:00

No, it's not a new movie title.

It's where I am. It's where alot of my friends are. It happens about this time every year. School is in full swing, the Holiday's are around the corner and fall sports are winding down - we are just give out.

Time to rest.

Rest doesn't necessarily mean sleep - although I'd love to be able to lay my head down and sleep all night long! I've spent years laying in bed at night listening and imagining, writing stories in my head, planning days' worth of activities.

Rest can mean rejuveninating - doing those things you love with the people you love. Reading a great book. Dinner with a friend.

I gain strength from shutting myself in sometimes. Just being at home with the family. Listening to their laughter, watching them play games, teaching them.

But I must be careful - I can become a recluse! And that's just not healthy either.

Seems I must find a balance.

This icky Sjogren's sometimes forces me to be intentional in integrating rest into my lifestyle. I hate it. I just hate it. My hands are swollen now. I forced my wedding ring on this morning. My jaw and ears hurt from my salivary glands swelling. My head hurts. And I can't sleep much at night. Which makes it all worse.

Okay, I sound like a whiny baby. I've really tried not to. Yesterday, I gave into tears and asked David to come pray for me. I felt better afterwards. The power of prayer. The power of the prayer of my God-given mate who carries my burdens and loves me with every ounce of his being. He is my White Knight.

He would come back for me.

(You have to know Kevin Costner's Robin Hood for that to make sense.)

Sometime in the wee hours, Luke 3:5 came to my mind -

Every valley shall be filled in, every mountain and hill made low. The crooked roads shall become straight, the rough ways smooth. (NIV)

and, My Favorite:
Every gorge shall be filled up, and every mountain and hill shall be brought low, and the crooked places shall become a straight path, and the rough places smooth ways, (Darby Bible Translation).

God will make it all work out. The valley's won't be so deep and the hills won't be so steep. The winding road will be easier and the stones removed so I won't stumble.

All God's promises are Yes and Amen.

Definitely a Mudane Musing Monday

And now. . .

2010-11-05T15:10:00.000-07:00

Meanwhile, back in Denver. . .

It was time for visits with Dr. Chang and Dr. Collins - two of our favorite medical professionals!

The Children's Hospital in Denver is a great facility. Clean and bright - great place for kids to get well.

We started our day at the Aurora Campus (oddly, Denver's Children's Hospital is not in Denver!) with Dr. Collins then drove over to Littleton to see Dr. Chang. In between we made a mandatory stop at Bass Pro - of course!

Dr. Collins said - surgery is a last resort and we are not there yet! We have some new meds to try to control the dystonic movements. We start them this weekend.

Dr. Chang said - time for another surgery. We need to lengthen her calf muscle again and they will also do some work to keep her toes from curling. No rush on this surgery because her growth plates are fairly fused - which leads to the bad news (from Sis's view) - she's not going to get much taller. Her dad assured her that doctor's have been wrong before and she is sure to grow!

We were able to see our friends, the Randols, and visit with them. They welcomed us into their home and just loved on us. We all need friends like that.

So we're back home. Back to school. Back to normal. Normal?

Yup, that's just a setting on your dryer.